Friday, December 24, 2004

Kung Fu

Mit up with Arl to shop for xmas pressie..
bought her a perfume gift set & had a chat @ CB..
sighz..lonely xmas for her..
Watched Kungfu Hustle with sis & Bb @ Bishan..
hmm...funny but crude...very violent.

happy :o) in xmas mood !

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Exam Over !!

Exam is over... 1 last thing to do..complete the report..
meanwhile time to scout to job...
hey, hey, hey~
I am really happy...
Had steamboat with Bb & Sis @ Marina...
Had really fun time experimenting on the grills :P
at least it taste like edible food..
And finally got a pair of speakers for the PC...

Friday, December 17, 2004

Mobile Subscription Headache...

sighs* is there a plan that can fulfill all my needs?

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Home Alone...Song List

Bb bought the Nike shoes.. Had dinner at the aiport... Ate sushi..
then took the bus home.. the aircon is blasting as if we r in a freezer.
I keep pestering to go to the beach... star-glazing, guess she's rushing off to meet friend , forget it then... swallow my words, byebye sounds like forever..
Handphone "off".. auto "off"??
very tired.....
can't sleep...
Listening to :

~~~~ Lonely Is The Night~~~~
Lonely is the night
Not having loving arms
holding me tight
Lonely is the word
not being herd
Lonely is the night
having you next to me
when you can't see
that I'm even there
Lonely is the day
not having anything to say
Lonely is a feeling
of emptiness
not having anyone to share
especially when you don't care
Lonely is not love
if I had you to hold on too
I wouldn't be lonely
I would have you
I don't want to be lonely anymore
Maybe I should just walk out the door
Lonely is the night
It's time to say good night
Im not ready for another
Lonely night
Really thought that I could live without you
Really thought that I could make it on my own
Sent you away yeah I said I didn't need you
I let you go I let you go I let you go
Now I'm so lost without you
Now you're not here and now I know
Lonely is the night when I'm not with you
Lonely is the night ain't no light shining through
Till you're in my arms till you're here by my side
Lonely am I
Never thought that I that I would need you
Never thought that I that I'd be missing you
Gotta get you back
I just got to find a way now
To let you know to let you know to let you know
That I'm so lost without you
How this world it just ain't right
Lonely is the night when I'm not with you
Lonely is the night ain't no light shining through
Till you're in my arms till you're here by my side
Lonely am I
I can make it through the day
I can fake it okay
I just smile and pretend
And I tell myself I'll be alright
But lonely is the night
Lonely is the night
Now I'm so lost without you
Now you're not here and now I know
Lonely is the night when I'm not with you
Lonely is the night there's no light shining through
Till you're in my arms till you're here by my side
Lonely is the night
Lonely is the night when I'm not with you
Lonely is the night there's no light shining through
Till you're in my arms till you're here by my side
Lonely is the night
Lonely is the night when I'm not with you
Lonely is the night there's no light shining through
Till you're in my arms till you're here by my side

Monday, December 13, 2004

Christmas Mood

My Desired Life
Its Dec... Hmm, my fav festive season is near.
my x'mas wish is to spend a white christmas someday, somehow..
with my love romantic right?
Think its gonna be long b4 my wish come true :P
Goodnite to me..

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Reflection Period (20 Nov 2004 - 29 Nov 2004)

DAY 1 (20th Nov 2004, Saturday)

I initiated this plan, just to let both of us have some time to think it over, since there seems to be never ending conflicts that we both can't compromise. I don't know when I became such a possessive freak. Think she is getting fed up with my SMS whenever she is out to meet with that group of people. I keep thinking why can't I get to share this friendship that she is having now...its not like it used to be, we used to go and meet friends, and have fun together. But seems like this particular group has some discrete secret to share among themselves, I have no idea who they are,other then their names. I am feeling more and more inferior as the day passes; I have no self control to vent my misery, inflicting pain on myself has became a habit. Wonder why things has turn sour, is that the way it ought to be? I am hoping that its not. I can be great listener and consultant to my pals' problems, but when I am facing my own problem, I feel so lost. Finally tell myself to give it another change,admitting the fact that I want to see her and give her a big hug. On the contrary,I feel so lousy, feel like being taken for granted after last night session…anything more insensitive that I deserved to be left alone today? Just put it behind,love is to give and take isn't it? Meet her at the Wedding banquet, told her I don't feel like staying till the end, coz' I feel uneasy as the crowd is non-of our age. Gave her the bracelet I bought, and she asked me why did I buy her things… no good reason, just feel like surprising her with that blackbox. Mysterious box. Had a drink at Center Point Mac. She was looking tired, yawning all the way and requesting for the freedom that she ought to have with the group of friends… for a moment, okay, guess I am simply restricting and pressuring her, so I say "well, maybe I am…” let's catch the last train before we are too late."

DAY 2 (21st Nov 2004, Sunday)

Was quite a peaceful day, woke up really late coz' had the internet and router set up.Crazy us, chatting on MSN even tho' we're both in the same room. And chatting with our friends as well. Hmm.. been some time since we skip church services. Thought it will a good start... Then she tell me that she has planned to go for a badminton session with the group @ the Khatib stadium. I'm fine with it hope nothing happen,coz' that group of gals seems to have all possible conspiracy among themselves. Kissing other people's girlfriend, best pals liking a charming new-comer and secretly admiring each other etc, etc ... Making me feeling more insecure, put aside the fact that I never seen or know any one there.

Listening to "Imagine Me Without You" by Jaci Velasquez
Verse 1
As long as stars shine down from Heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
Verse 2
In my life, You're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without You
Verse 3:
When You caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard my calling
And You rushed to set me free
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
I can't imagine me without You


DAY 3 and 4 ( 22nd - 23rd Nov 2004, Monday )

Woke up in the morning, I promise to patch things together... I gave her a BIG teddy bear hug and kiss.Feeling quite alright, still controlling myself telling myself not to remain her that I am worried about the badminton, just mention a few little cranky lame scenarios that might happen at the badminton court later when they have their game...(jokingly) then off I go for my lesson. And I ask if want to meet me after my lesson, she just say "if you want to join us for dinner later, no confirm, will update me again"...Test was postpone coz' not everyone is present today, to be fair the lecturer postpone it to Wednesday, consider a blessing in disguise coz' I didn't really have the mood to study. Class ended early, I haven't got any idea where to head since she didn't inform my anything, I called her and she say she is going back to Kallang tonight , and she's now at Bishan with the group of friends loitering aimlessly. I wanted to tell her that no matter isit just walking aimlessly or just sit down and "rot" as long as she's beside me, it does matter wat the program is I'm still enjoy the moment.... think twice , I better not... promised to give her the freedom.So I took the bus home, and noticed that she didn't bring the laptop alone, which is not very her, 1 night without online @ Kallang? Impossible! So I called her and ask: "why such an impulse decision to go back Kallang tonight?" Finally, I got the answer, they are heading town to wait for some other friends to knock off from work and chit-chat in town area, and she say that its more convenient to go Kallang.. oh well, Control, control, control myself...
Then she say: " well, what's wrong huh??I can go to Yishun if you want..."
Sighz.. Its alright never mind, I'm speechless... thinking of how to settle my own dinner is more practical...instant noodle I guess, no appitite. Home alone! ya its Monday...

Waiting .. evening till dark,
I did a very unethical thing and I don't care how "M" insulted me , or tell her ...I just want to know is my Bb safe, I'm feeling so helpless ? I'm hearing sound I'm hallucinating or wat? It's morning... not a single news from her... after she hung up on me for the 2nd line at abt 12midnight ... my dear , it hurts! I think I ate too much medic...head spinning and numb, can't stand and walk and I'm feeling giddy.. I don't care ! I think she told me that she is going Kallang for the night... force myself to walk and throw myself into the cab and went to her hse... her parents were sleeping... and she isn't come home... 8am ... keep on calling... I'm afriad that she might be kipnapped or met with an accident , worried! finally got thru' her line... relieve angry and giddy ... for a moment I release my weak body and drop on the ground... blackout... and i can hear vacuum ringing in my ears.. next moment I'm in the bed when I open my eyes... and her Mom gave me a cup of hot Milo..I still can't stand up, I can feel the spinning sensation.... got to go home... I need to rest... I'm feeling nausea and twist in my stomach.. drag myself home... walk 2 steps, feeling giddy, squat down and stand up , walk 2 steps... took me long time to reach the road side.... got into the cab and I'm home...

Day 5 ( 24th Nov 2004, Wednesday)

we just say hi-and-bye at her hse, coz I need to charge my hp ...
when she reached home I went out.
I feel so depressed, so I took the whole evening to recall all that we have gone thru' I smiled,
it felt so nice recalling those little things that she did for me, but I just don't know why my tears just roll down my cheeks when the sky turn dark... couples, couple, couples everywhere I look around me. When I reach home, she is in bed toggling with her hp, coz I saw the hp lights still on in my dark room. then she got up and went to the phone and called her friend, I supposed is one of them from the grp of people. she seemed so happy and I said goodnite to her with a kiss. she continued.
Hug her when she finally got into bed, she was complainning about her bodyache, I massaged for her, and tried to be senseous, it dint work, I was shock for a while, thinking that what is wrong, she no longer feel it?? anyway, I had hugged her to sleep. and she said that tmr is all mine, she will take MC and spend the day with me.

Day 6 (25th Nov 2004 , Thursday)

She went to take MC in the morning and we planned to go sun-tanning nearby... but YSC is half day, went to YCK SC, its closed too and it started to rain. I suggested that we go for a karaoke session at Bishan.... been quite some time we spend time together... think its a great chance for me to get close to her "holiday mood"... I move closer and requested her to hugg me cz the room is extremely cold.. I feel the warmth and fall asleep for a moment, havent been sleeping well for the past few days... then I was quite affected by her hp, it keep beeping and ringing, and she put it to silent mood, yet she still reply, I look thru the messages and noticed that she deleted smses (sent messages) selectively, esp smses from these pple... I asked her why and she say she cultivated this habit from me. (me again? didn't I take back my words after we had a talk about privacy and personal space?) I thought I have already change and she is feeding me with what I said now... sighz... i say its voided, I stop that long ago..and whatever thing that she feel that is hindering our relationship I will stop doing if she didnt like, for the simple reason that I love her., and I want her to know that.

we reached home in the evening, after that 4-hour ktv session, and she was rushing out to meet her friends again.. dint she mention that the day is mine? is the day supposed to be just a 4-hr ktv session. I feel so jilted when she insisted that she is late to meet her frds alr while I talked to her. I ask whether she can bring me along, her immediate answer is "NO!" I asked her why, and she said that "just don't want to! and she just want o have her freedom"
FREEDOM! what exactly is freedom when we are in a relationship?
I am still searching for the answer.... I used to say that, but I changed, for the better of this relationship.I got so fed up that I went out too... breathe some fresh air , it didn't work for me.
I keep telling myself do not reply her, I still did, coz I don't want her to get worried. I am lost! I don't know where I'am heading to, aimlessly walking .... thinking that she will realised that I am caring for her..
recalling what she told me in the cab when we quarrel, I was tempted to end my life...
but I remember that she said no - she hate to be threatened, but I don;t have that intention to threaten her at all. Just think that I am feeling lousy at that moment.
who will understand how I feel ?

I don't want to go home so early coz it makes me think of her, the smell of her in my bed and pillow, the picture of her , her things around my room... I am self-indulgence!!!!! imagine that she is doing work in the kitchen, imagined that she tell me to go to sleep first...think I am drunk.
wonder how is she now. my pillow is soaked with tears again...

Why is this happening to me?
Did I briught it upon myself?
Is there a "limit" to love ?

questions flooded me again, but I have no answer to it.
I am still thinking of her, but I promised not to "bug" her with calls and sms.
hope that she enjoyed her night with them. I turn around to say "goodnight Bb, I love you" and I swallowed that kiss coz she is not around.

DAY 7 ( 26th Nov 2004, Friday)

I woke up and realised that the laptop is still around, and guess she will need that, so I bring it to class and rush to put the lappy in her house during my 1-hr lunch break... was quite a rush... and bought some bits for her thinking that she might be hungry after a long nite. Anyway, nobody is at home (*phew!* save the embarassment).. I realised that her bag wasn't home or anything that she brought along last night. Guess she didn't go home again. (Stop wild guessing!!!) .. sob!!

"bloated chest " (men qi) why is that so?
Is she feeling the same?
what I really want is to spend time holding my holding her hands , strolling along the beach, or resting on each other's shoulders star-glazing... guess my mind is so stubborn, even when i get to nap I dream of her screaming at me that I am a bugger...gosh!

Apparently someone hacked into my msgr to delete her contact from my list , I was shock, can't believe my own eyes, and fall into deeeper depression. I can feel my heart stop for a moment and almost fall right to the bottom. I thot its her, I want to know what happen, she replied that she didn't.

think I m so in love with this song "Imagine me without Me" - it simply speaks my mind.. listening to it over and over again , and tears roll down my cheeks naturally when I turn around and the room is emplty... cold turkey treatment on me is quite cruel :(

I can't wait till 30th Nov 2004 , 7pm to arrive!!! I really miss her alot ..
and for the past few nights when she is not ard in my bed, I waited for her call, coz thats what we will do b4 sleeping.. to have a little lovie-dovie chat on the phone and kiss gdnite...
did she divert that practise on her so-called frds already? and I don't get abit of it...

Went out to MM with them... was feeling unwell coz I drank to much at home for the past few days.. and I danced with my eyes shut coz' I hate to realise that she is not here but elsewhere with other people. stand really near the syste, music blasting into my ears..

The pain in my stomach became unbearable after I puke, and IS THAT BLood? ..
sheesh! she finally realise my existance... she fetch me home in a cab.

DAY 8 ( 27th Nov 2004, Saturday )

领悟 : 幸福是自己打造的天空
= 相信 , 坚持

She feel that group of people hurt her... and feel that they are not the type that she is looking out for in friendship.. what took her so long? when I already repeat myself to her the truth, she refuse to take it. I was hurt back then, that why I can feel how she is feeling right now....

"what u give, is what u expect in return.."
but it hurts when the world doesn't work this way all the time.
DAY 9 ( 28th Nov 2004, Sunday )
Listening to Songs by Matilda Tao
当她横刀夺爱的时候 你忘了所有的誓言 她扬起爱情胜利的旗帜 你要我选择继续爱你的方式 你曾经说要保护我 只给我温柔没挫折 可是现在你总是对我迥避 不再为我有心事而着急 人说恋爱就像放风筝 如果太计较就有悔恨 只是你们都忘了告诉我 放纵的爱 也会让天空划满伤痕 太委屈 连分手也是让我最后得到消息 不哭泣 因为我对情对爱 全都不曾亏欠你 太委屈还爱着你你却把别人拥在怀里 不能再这样下去 穿过爱的暴风雨 宁愿清醒忍痛地放弃你 也不在爱的梦中委屈自己
我把你的电话从手机里消除了 我把你的消息从话题里减少了 我把你的味道用香水喷掉了 我把你的照片用全家福挡住了 你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚 你让我的骄傲觉得很无知 你让我的朋友关心我的生活 你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由 离开我 你会不会好一点 离开你 什么事都难一点 车来了 坐上你的明天 车走了 我还站在路边 离开我 你会不会好一点 离开你 什么事都难一点 风来了 云就会少一点 你走了 我住在雨里面
DAY 10 ( 29th November 2004, Monday)
Went to swim and sun-tan @ YSC.
Learn frog style... guess I am still used to free-style, enjoying myself, wonder if she feel the same way too.. Had lunchie at the foodcourt, new stall "the Paddy" nice crumbled potatoes and caramari and fish...well, at least I'm not alone...I'm really happy..*smiles* ...but I realised that she is still feeling alittle unhappy with the things that happened, disappointment show in her eyes and the way she stares into the air, drift into deep thoughts.... I wanted to ask "how can I help?" they are people that think, speaks and behaves differently, coz' they are young....
Went to watch " Bridget Jones Diary" quite a nice show..
This is the most tender part of love, each other to forgive
Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.
V E R D I C T :

I LOVE YOU, Baby !
"There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness."

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I am falling....

Yes... I'm depressed...
I'm not a person that complain too much, Coz' I know its lousy.
I want to dedicated my thoughts to a special person -The only person who can stop my tears, but she is also the only one that can cause it.
Questions and questions flooding in my head. yet unanswerable.
Some questions are better left unanswered, And, I hope, there wont be an end...because I don't like sad ending...

Please make a fairly tale ending that is kiss and be loving again....

I`m in total madness, my tears fall endlessly..the truth is tearing up my heart and I can't breathe...Am I over-reacting to her friends, Am I becoming uncontrollably possesive?
Why did I hurt my arms and still my heart feels more painful?

feel like the endless road without a stop signcant even find a stranger this time why am i still holding back my tears in this fear everytime i ask this would this be the last why am i still talking to myself hoping you would have the keys to cell every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper how do i get out of this i think i never will......

Song that Triggers my thoughts:
(Well.. selectively listening to..)
"My All"

I am thinking of you in my sleepless solitude tonight...If it's wrong to love you then my heart just won't let me be right ... Cause I'm drowned in you and I won't pull through without you by my side... I'd give my all to have ....................... I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on living in the memory of our song I'd give my all for your love ........ Baby can you feel me? imagining I'm looking in your eyesI can see you clearly, vividly Emblazoned in my mindand yet you're so far, like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Feeling out of place

When to the library to look at the past year papers...went thru a few better rated ones.. impressive..wonder if I can write something like that.
After that when to have a bit then head to town with Bb to her meeting with her grp mates, 20 pple there OMG!!! I feel so out of place.
Then proceed to the KTV with them..wanted to go river view, but dun want to be gooseberry going alone with a couple. so BB ask me to join them at ktv, I went and was a wrg choice, wanted to rest on her shoulder and cling on her when i feel cold but those are her frds that dint know abt les...sighz...then cant smoke , and the most out of place thing is I feel so inferior in that room coz all of them sing as if they are finalist for karaoke competition... I sing like shit.. i feel better singing with pple that i know better of casually singing.
everything is so impressive...
I can't stand it ....I WANT TO BE THE BEST!!!
and I am feeling @$#%^&*()_+ right nw coz went I say, I feel like going home alr, Bb said "ok have a good rest lah" again I feel @$#%^&*() speechless, dun remain me again... I travel in the taxi alone at 1am .........

Quote of the day:

"I've chop and stamp
to live with her
for the rest of my life,
so whatever thing happen
I will bear with it"

Monday, November 15, 2004

Home All Day

Can life be any extreme? I've got full schedule yesterday and today nothing done..
Sis got a new cable modem and the free wireless router... finally its fast.. for the past few weeks has been loading like an ancient machine. Anyway, feel really lazy today.. planned to do my assignment but end up going nothing... arghz! aimless..HELP ME!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

full session

Been a nice day. ..
was at FarEast again,praying hard that Jenn pass exam..
thru'out the session, I'm so kanchion for her, keep telling "faster. no time already" gosh' dint know whether I'm annoying her.. anyway, ya she have no time to put the lashes and eyeliner for me.. when the examiner came in to check, I quicky whisper, "psss...she is not looking here, put the lush for me now.." haha, like kancheong spider, coz only got fake lush one one eye..Then a little short break before the second part of her exam start.. grb a short chat with Jamie and Lyn over at the other room.. coz it's so stressful...the room is like chingay..the other student dressed up their model with gown, wigs and etc..really an eye opener.. Guess Jenn was a little lost when the 2nd exam start, she dint know what to do suddenly, starring in the air for a moment, and I wake her up..after that she dint do what she planned on the paper... just freehand, do whatever comes to her mind.
Think she lacks confident really... But overall enjoy the session there, chatting with the people next to me and catching up with the girls..

Suppose to go home and catch some zzz.. but decided not to, then arrange with Bb to go KTV, but she just woke up...know that she will take a long time to get prepared as usual, bath at least 30 mins, sms her sms-pal, iron clothes and other things etc... bummed onto Ann as I walk along the way to CK Tang, then join her and Jason to shop for her bro's bdae pressie... we almost visit all the possible shop that sell haversack in town, not luck, they are either too squarish or been there for ther last few seasons...well, like I say, when u want to find something intentionally, u can't find, until one fine day when u dun feel like buying then the ONE will just flash infront of!

Time to meet Bb for KTV at carppage .. I reach early, start my own singing, opps hope nobody'd standing outside listening *blush* Bb came and we had a wonderful ktv exploring all the new songs that we have never attempted b4. carzy hours.. freezing.

After that had dinner at Somerset Carpark Street Hawkers...the food there is extremely expensive... 10-stick satay set $19.90 , chicken rice $4.50, popiah $2 !! OMG daylight robbery.. and its not up to standard, i think the chicken rice selling at coffeeshop is nicer..met up with few other pple..considering new to me..but they are rather chatty. Gosh` this little very daring 17-year old gal!! (no comments)I dun really know her well anyway, just suppose to be hi-and-bye.

Hamster drove us to the pub and had a drink, and listen to the live band singing, catch up alittle and seems like everybody is inter-link somehow..what a small world.. THE COUSIN finally appear.. hmm.. alright (no comments) then Don start to target on Hamester... hello!!!! we are out to enjoy, no business here!

Proceed to watch the psychodelic movie "SAW" gruesome and really nice, so far I guess this is one of the best thriller I've watched. I didn't guess the ending , coz' I'm too engrossed.. lucky, nobody bought any popcorn, if not there will be popcorn accidents in the theatre. (10/10) Hmmm..I should have continue with psychology...

Watch an Indie Movie

Sighz...can't believe I watch this indie movie "B&P" , its full of dance and the usual mass dance featured in most indie show...well, not bad thou'. but the theatre is 90% indians...omg..hahaha...I'll rate it 6/10 ..feeling alittle hungry now.

From director Gurinder Chadha and the team that created “Bend It Like Beckham” comes a classic romance not just retold, but reinvented in a new globally connected world. BRIDE AND PREJUDICE puts an entirely different spin on Jane Austen’s story of spirited courtship - Bollywood-style. Music, dance and spectacle merge with love, vanity and social pressures, as Chadha transports the comic tale of a witty young woman trying to find a suitable husband to a cross-cultural setting that spans 21st century India, London and America. It all begins in a modest Indian village when the determined Mrs. Bakshi sets out to find marriage matches for her four beautiful daughters while there’s a lavish wedding party in town. Right away, the smart and headstrong Lalita (Aishwarya Rai) announces she will only marry for love, giving her mother nightmares. Then Lalita meets the wealthy American Will Darcy (Martin Henderson) and sparks immediately fly. But is it love or hate? Darcy comes off to Lalita as an arrogant California snob. Lalita looks to Darcy like a small-town Indian beauty who knows nothing of the world.

Alternately enchanted by and suspicious of one another, Lalita and Darcy nearly fall prey to assumptions, gossip and a comedy of errors . . . until pride is humbled and prejudice overcome so that love can triumph. Gurinder Chadha directs BRIDE AND PREJUDICE from a script by Chadha and Paul Mayeda Berges, which brings to the plot of Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” elements of high-style Bollywood romance, Hollywood songand- dance and the modern realities of international romance.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Watched "Princess Diary 2"

thought its is a well worth spent money to watch this show..its really funny. the story lie is simple just relaxing. full of wows, when the queen showed Mia's room, so spacious and it's like a house itself..walk in wardrobe like a shopping mall with romote control...
But looking at it from another point of view, people might admire the luxury of the loyals, but the queen really put her private life behind...quite an irony actually: princess's wedding turn into queen's wedding.

think lady luck is on our side, after the show, we wanted to walk home who know there is a prestiagege merce cab parking rite there...haaha! uhuh, baby's fav. so we took the cab home, i was thinking will I have the luxury to own a comfy car like that ...just wonder.
Anyway I'll rate the day 9/10 thou' my day seems just started like 11pm :)
Oh ya, bb bought rocher..yummy...been sometime I havent tasted it..can't help it, I know is really late still get a bite.... :D

Saturday, November 6, 2004

can I make it??

    Going for 5-hr CPSS Test on 23 Nov 8am
    some research:

    * If I'm phased out from pilot training, will I still have to serve my National Service as an NS man with my initial unit or somewhere else?
    You are likely to be posted back to the previous Army unit where you came from. The only exception is if you have been commissioned as an RSAF Officer during pilot training, you will remain in the Air Force as an NS man

    * Is it possible to apply to be a pilot right after BMT or must I complete my 2 ½ years of NS first. Also, can I apply for pilot before I graduate and then go straight into the Air Force after I have graduated?
    Yes, you can apply 3 months before your studies are completed. However, you will cross over to RSAF for pilot training only after BMT, provided that you are found suitable for pilot training.

    * Will taking supplementary paper(s) affect my application as a pilot or my future in the Air Force if I am selected to be a pilot?
    Supplementary paper(s) will not affect your application as a pilot but you must pass your polytechnic course in order to qualify for this vocation.

    * Is it possible to take pilot as my career when I am under a bond with the Army?
    It is possible provided you meet the entry criteria for the pilot vocation. The entry criteria can be found at our website:"FLY HIGH" section, or you can call our recruitment staff at 1800 270 1010

    * What happens after I have submitted my application form?
    Once we have determined that you fulfil our basic criteria, you will be invited to attend and sit for a test, using the Computerised Pilot Selection System (CPSS).

    * What is the purpose of the CPSS testing?
    The test using the CPSS is specially designed to help us assess if you have the aptitude to become a pilot

    * What will be required of me during the test?
    You are required to answer a series of questions at the computer terminal. Your answers will indicate your sense of direction, response speed and abilities in multi-tasking and instrument reading. You will also be tested on your psychomotor skills, and finally be put through a personality test.

    * Will there be guidelines given to me during the test?
    Yes, detailed instructions will be given. Follow these instructions closely and answer as many questions as possible.

    * What is the duration of the CPSS test and where is it held?
    It is a five-hour test conducted at the SAF Careers Centre at Depot Road, CMPB.

    * What happens after I have done the CPSS test?
    If you pass the CPSS, we will schedule you for a thorough medical examination at our medical centres. In particular, our aviation doctors will look out for symptoms like asthma, hypertension, migraine and astigmatism, as these conditions may render a person unsuitable for pilot training.

    * Should I be mindful of my diet before attending the medical examinations? You should try to maintain a balanced diet, and drink plenty of water before going for the medical examinations. It is also recommended that you stay away from using earphones as they may affect your ability to pick up low decibel sounds.

    * Is the medical examination important?
    Yes, it is important because the outcome will determine your medical fitness and suitability for flying.

    * Will there be any other tests after I have passed the CPSS and the medical examinations?
    No. However, you will be required to attend the Pilot Selection Interview, where you will be presented to the Pilot Selection Board.

    * Who will make up the Board?
    The Pilot Selection Board comprises the Commander of Flying Training School (FTS) as Chairman, and other senior officers from FTS and HQ RSAF.

    * What is the purpose of this interview
    The purpose is to get to know you better. We will also be interested to know why you wish to become a pilot, your personality traits, your potential to take on leadership roles and, most importantly, if you have the X-factor to be a pilot.

    * How long does it take to complete the entire selection process from the day of application?
    The entire selection process will take about three to four months to complete. This process has been awarded the ISO 9002 certification since April 1996

    * Does it mean I will commence pilot training once I have passed the selection process?
    You will first need to go through Basic Military Training, perform consistently well during BMT and be selected for Officer Cadet Training.

    * Then why the need to be selected for OCS?
    This is because other than being trained as a pilot, you will also need to be trained to become a good leader and an exemplary member of society.

    * How long is the Airgrading Course?
    It is a two-month course and you will train in Tamworth, Australia. The following Training Road Map illustrates the stages of the Pilot Training Course. BMTTamworth AirgradingTri-Service TermAir Force Service TermPearce Basic Flying PhaseAdvanced Flying Phase 10 weeks2 months1 month2 months10 months11 months

    * What is available to me if I wish to pursue tertiary education?
    The University Cadet Pilot Training Scheme (UCPTS) is specially designed for qualified RSAF pilots.

    * How does the UCPTS work for me?
    The UCPTS allows you to disrupt your career for tertiary studies after becoming a Pilot with the RSAF. However, you must have already qualified for a place in either NUS or NTU. You will be given an annual book allowance while continuing to receive your pilot's pay throughout the duration of your studies. Furthermore, your tuition fees and other approved charges will be fully borne by the RSAF.

    * When exactly will I be able to disrupt my career for further studies under the UCPTS?
    You will be able to do so when you have obtained operational category B status as a pilot after graduating from the Pilot Training Course.

    * Are there any restrictions on the course of study that I will read in the varsity?
    Usually, you are allowed to read most courses other than Medicine, Architecture and Accountancy. However, if you have a Science background, you are encouraged to take up a Science or Engineering course in the university, as we prefer our operators to be techno-savvy.

    * Will I be allowed to read Law in the university?
    Yes. However, you will not be allowed to undertake the Bar examinations

    * Will I be required to serve a bond upon graduating from the university?
    Yes. The bond is eight years.

    * Will I be allowed to pursue tertiary education overseas under UCPTS?
    Yes, provided it is at an approved university.

    * Are the terms similar to local terms?
    The terms offered are based on local university charges. The candidate will absorb any cost that is in excess of local charges.

took 2-hr MAPAS Test on 28th Oct 2004
Some research:

enlistees also sit for a series of computer-administered tests, known as Manpower Aptitude Assessment (MAPAS), conducted at the Vocational Assessment Centre (VAC). These tests assess a person's cognitive ability, or the mental ability to process information quickly and accurately. Some of these mental abilities measured include memory, speed of response, abstract reasoning, the ability to follow complex instructions, the ability to solve mathematical problems, and mental spatial ability.

The reason for these tests?
A psychologist in the Personnel Psychology Branch in the Applied Behavioral Sciences Department, Mr Chris De Roza (left), said the test results play a part in placing enlistees into vocations where their abilities can be best used, thereby allowing the SAF to optimise use of limited manpower resources. However, Mr De Roza was quick to dispel the idea that vocation was determined even before enlistment. "The enlistee's medical condition and physical abilities also matter. And a lot depends on his performance during BMT, for example, how he interacts with his peers, and how his commanders rate him. Performance in field tests is also a consideration for selection into leadership training schools." "Only by putting all these factors together with the aptitude test, can we then get a clearer picture of the type of person the enlistee is, and which vocation best suits him." Thus it is important to take MAPAS seriously. Advised Mr de Roza: "Like in other examinations, get a good night's sleep before the test. So you can do your best for the test and we can then profile your aptitude accurately. We can then match you with a job that suits your profile, and you will be more motivated at work, and perform better at it."

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

My pay

Haiyo...... when are they gonna process my pay? $300 plus not a small amount manz. keep giving to damn excuses and pushing blames to other people. Sianz. I want my money LAMERS! keep saying that they are busy ... are they really that busy?

Thursday, October 21, 2004


Sighz... thought the feeling after exam shouls be relief and happy..but I walk out of the exam room feeling hopeless. sianz.. duno whats up! pray that I can pass.. :P

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Movie Mania: "Exorcist"

Had a revision lesson in the morning...Meet Bb at ComCtr to clarify some billing matters, had lunch and Bb bought a 2nd hand classic hp at LkyPlz. after that watched "Exorcist" at CineL. quite a gruesome one, somehow reminds me of another movie "The Passion of The Christ". at the end of the movie over heard a woman talking about the show to her friend, and she darn say that the ghost part is scarry, I was like rolling my eyes and thinking that girl really wasted money, sighz, exorcist and ghost , got link meh?

Aniwae, half the time in the theatre Bb was busy smsing, so fedup...and after that I am suppose to go home alone!!! sighz..its Don"keying" again... was beginning to get ready for a full day of relaxation , but was ruinned. what a Saturday...

Father Lankester Merrin thinks that he has glimpsed the face of Evil. In the years following World War II, Merrin (STELLAN SKARSGÅRD) is relentlessly haunted by memories of the unspeakable brutality perpetrated against the innocent people of his parish. In the wake of all he has seen, both his faith in his fellow man and the Almighty have deserted him. He can no longer honestly call himself a man of God.

Merrin has traveled far from his native Holland in a desperate attempt to escape the horrors that he witnessed there. While drifting through Cairo, he is approached by a collector of rare antiquities to join a British archeological excavation in the remote Turkana region of Kenya. They have unearthed a Christian Byzantine church in inexplicably pristine condition – as if it had been buried on the day it was completed. The collector wants Merrin, an Oxford-educated archeologist, to find an ancient relic hidden within the church before the British discover it.
But beneath the church, something much older sleeps, waiting to be awoken. Madness descends upon the local villagers and the contingent of British soldiers sent to guard the excavation. Merrin watches helplessly as the atrocities of war are repeated against another innocent village – atrocities he had prayed never to see again. The blood of innocents flows freely on the East African plain, and the horror has only just begun.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Job... and Money

been a while since i last blog...
dun have enuff time to sleep...kan chiong over exams...

work at the cafe for 4 days... then took a study leave coz ready can't concentrate after my work..the pay is so miserable only $5 if not for the long term plan ..aimming at the management position I won't have bear with it...

recently got a job opportunity... the dental called me and ask if I m still interested to work for Sat and Sun evenings... short hours but thot its only nearby khb mrt... i say ok lor.. but can start only after my exam, if not then i'll have defeat the purpose of taking leave from the cafe...the pay at the dental clinic is oso as miserable as the cafe.. just take it fist lor ..what to do.. I need money for my daily expenses

Sunday, October 3, 2004


Sis is really hyper active and super on... she just came home and realised that mum didnt cook today, then she dragged me for supper, walked to S11 near the MRT station... really stink! the whole pathment full of bird droppings... she ordered beehoon and I decided to try the bah chor mee coz, if eat beehoon might as well go to the usual nasi lemak plc to eat right.. then ordered iced milk-tea and iced milo....*burp* very full..think she still want to eat..she's craving for mochi ice-cream and strawberry ice...went to the 7-11 and get the lychee flvr mochi and strawberry ice..yummy!! opps , did I say I'm full ? :P glad I have a sis full of idea to perk my day, otherwise sometimes she's abit too hyper but still :)

Saturday, October 2, 2004


Woke up feeling aimless today...
Bb didn't kiss me goodbye when she leave the house..last thing she was doing is talking on the phone with someone... anyway, the weather is so hot!! can't stand it... I was doing some updating at the PC..feel like bbq-ing coz I'm right beside the window , can even feel the heat from the wall.. went to the living room had a very late with mum alittle and there she go again asking me the sensitive question that I hate... there goes my day, down the drain....sighz~
moodless, frustrating coz the weather hot, temper hot, aircon on strike! damn day! stone in the bed and duno when I fall asleep, by the time I wake up its already 7pm... then Bb msg say that she won't be coming home today..tml is sis's bdae..already given her the pressie and she's been using it.. :) guess she's waiting for next year gonna be 21st gosh~ time flies.

Friday, October 1, 2004

Another Lazy Friday

I've got this :

"You have 6 Gmail invitations. Invite a friend to join Gmail!"
(Anyone need Gmail account?)

Sounds like it... class ended 15 mins early coz the lec can't stand the sight of us yawning . haha..synchronized yawning session.. ought to be alert but its a whole day lesson, that's y, in the morning, the lect sounds ok, later after lunchie, the lect sounded blur and muffled ( like talking underwater), eyeslid got heavier and head spinning ...woohoo~ everybody feel the same coz, all of the sudden, everybody seems to bring coffee into the class and visit the toilet more frequently then usual...imagine hearding the clock ticking *tick-tock, tick-tock...* practically in screensaver mode until I hear " now , let's see what's less important for exams" O_o*

After class, I'm reluctant to go home, coz its so bored, dun want to start the (bath,eat check mail, watch tv) routine again, its making me sick of life, like a nightmare. then called Bb ..think I've dialled the numbers 100times over the 15mins walk towards Bugis.. no answer, no reply for SMS.. dun want wat to do..then decided to stroll down the phone book, see who will come out at this time, anyway is 5pm , should be time for those who work to leave the office.. Got to meet Arln at Tampines... was toking about her work life and asking me what I want to do after this course...etc. and she ask if I am interested to work outstation at Shengzhen or KuangZhou (dun remember, anyway is in China) asking me to join her work plc after the course..hmm...

The the chatty session ended, wait for bb to meet me after her session with Dn..went home 2gthr.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Fresh day ..

been so bored.. nothing to do, my brain is like empty.. everyday is like duplicate of the day before.. sighz! shifted the furniture in the room hope to see something new and fresh, life is so dull...went downstairs to get my hair trimmed, yah, just can't stand the baby hair and split ends sticking out (reminds me of lion's mane) .

exam coming soon, then 1 week break and there goes my last 2 modules. (can't wait to finish up and get a job) before that, will plan for a holiday in bbk to rejuvenate my body, mind and soul. hopefully will get some surprise discovery, been amost 1 year since I get a new piece of garment in my wardrobe.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Its Friday....

Econs lesson is so zzzz... Yuppie, its friday, and it B'day celebration for Bb's Mum. we ordered the new otah pizza set and bought her a huge thermoflask. ..spend sometime with her over dinner and watching TV...

then we head to chillout at the Cafe... just the 2 of us chilling at the nostagic Cafe.. gives me that same "feeling" both mox and the cafe... if I ever got to own a cafe chain, I'll make it that way too...

Finish my proj. send it to the lec via email for him to comment before I hand up the real thing due end of Sept..this is the 4th or 5th attempt I tried asking this lect question related to this proj. his ans will 4eva be "sorry I can't answer ur qns, it will be unfair to the class"...WTF!!! he tell the class that if there is qns regarding the proj feel free to ask him.... if that is the reply he will give us then dun bother telling us to "feel free to ask qns lah!" lawyers!!!
Well, according to the prev batch , only 3 managed to pass his module...but, out of those 3,
2 cheated.. so only 1 pass out of 25....hmmmm

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Aircon Broken Down !

guess the aircon is working too hard and decided to go on MC..
sobz... my room is practically like a oven this entire afternoon.. no only that , the min I woke up, I'm perspiring like anything...think I'm juz out from a shower... smelly saltish..

just finish with my law project.
hopefully I am in the rite track, if not I oso can't help much coz its making me crazy!

wanted to get a air cooler coz the fan simply blow warm luck for that..the sales person at HN say they dun have any... then bought a thermo-boiler, the one at home spoil, bought another 1 at Guardian Pharm, its cheaper (but for Bb's Mum)..

shop abit then saw the Bangawan Solo mooncake counter, Bb say want to but a box for my Mum, then we ended up food testing for almost 15 mins, think the sales gal abit pissed off with us.. we finally decided to get greentea, pandan, redbean, yam. then big bag, small bag..having difficulty walking oso. took a cab home.

when the cabbie drop us, we have to rush to the void deck with all the barang coz its raining bird shit!!!! damn, why must these birdie shit when they fly ard and its like thousands of them in a flock !! smells like a chicken farm. shitty

then Bb say our $$ running dry, coz we bought too much ... sighz gotta hide at home till the next pay day..

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Sweet November

->Depature Date:
19 November 2004

->Return Date:
22 November 2004

->Departure Airport:
->Arrival Airport:

Flight Times:
The airlines will choose your flight times.
Your flight will depart between 6am to 10.30pm.

Connections: Non-stop flights only.

Airline: A world-class full service airline

Your Offer Price: SG$1.00 (per ticket)
Estimated Taxes: SG$115.00 (per ticket)
Ticket Cost: SG$116.00 (per ticket)
Processing Fee: SG$16.50 (per ticket) more information
Subtotal: SG$132.50 (per ticket)

Total Charges:
>>SG$265.00 or less
This is the maximum amount that you could be charged for your tickets
if your offer price is accepted.
Total charges could be LESS, since taxes, fees and charges vary

->Number of Tickets:
2 round-trip, economy class tickets
->Passenger Names:

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Handphone Maniac~ Up Coming Models?

S700i P910 N6260

Any comments on these few models? S700 Picture display and camera function is superb (TFT, 256K colors) !! but no radio function. both S700 and P910 can display MPEG and MP3... Nokia has FM radio but the pic display resolution still 65K colours :(

Monday, September 20, 2004

Be Inspired...

Got Inspired after browsing thru' the articles in Female Magz. Planning to get my own property at mid 20s..Well, not very far away, so I'll work hard. Meanwhile get going with my projects..*sob*

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Movie Review

watched the Korean horror movie THe Gh0s+ with Bb and Sis.
korean movies, sorry to have such stereotype impression..Its really draggy as compared to HK or Jap movies. sound effect not bad, the storyline simple yet need the audience to think abit.. its about friendship, jealousy and revenge..I'll rate it 7/10 not really fanatastic but for the credit of having my family and love one watching it with me :)

Not forgetting about the irretating couple sitting infront of us..keep talking non-stop,duno y they choose to chitchat in the threatre..and the 2 cheena man next to them , oso duno wahts in thehir mind, sit as if they are attending president rally or attending stern and upright, their the whole time I've 2 huge heads blocking me *..sighz...* :P

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Running Errands.. TGIF*

Thk G0d Its Friday...* winkz* so fast its gonna be another week.. think abt it many things happen yet little has been done, especially my projects. Was crazy sending msg to my frds to get over with my financial crisis.. the same person helped me, my dear bro. the 1st time was mths back, helping me with the fee, nw again she offer to help, I tell myself if ever she need help in anyway, I will try my best to help within my means.

I didn't really sleep well, when the sky brightens, my head start to ache, my mind wasn't resting, so I went downstairs to get the newspaper and have a cuupa tea, called up to enquire abt some job postings in the paper....haven't have any food..feeling hungry but still sit in class try to understand the econs lec. a call from the Philips Financial Co. call to arr for interview, so I excuse myself an hr early frm class, went to RaffCity Twr#6. look for James Cheng, then rush to ChinatownPt#4 look for Jamie aka SokYee.

Comparison between the 2 postings:

2pm-6pm / 6pm-10pm
4 hours per shift
If Work 4 Hr=48bucks
Prof n High Expectation

2)Travel Cafe Asst:
Any time (Max. 9 hours)

Flexible Time between 11pm-9pm
If Work 4 hours=22bucks
Relax n Casual
Went to BB's hse for dinner, was speechless abt the "computer story"...just keep nodding my head and smile back, while my fingers keep msg until BB reach hm. :P
then to Mox to Chillout alittle, just like the atmosphere there,feeling not the same as those kiddo plc we used to freq. the lightings, deco,music and crowd is so much nicer and up to standard. suddenly aspires to be entreuprenear...I have a plan, dream big!!!
be somebody! had a bottle of Beck Beer and a fruit punch...listen to BB little adventure and experiences at werk...and gave her sugg on her animal proj. then we head home b4 midnite to avoid the xtra chrg...Rush to toilet when I reach hm.....
then sis told me a secret abt her werk plc , just like "a-boy" in the 9pm sitcom. many ppl at her work place seems to have "something" for her..impressed, she attracts both f and doubts with that. I agree my sis is pretty if she really dress up and her figure is perfect...happy-go-lucky character..sunshine.. all the best gal! hope she will make the right choice.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Materialistic? Realistic? Frustration? Depressed?

Money..where can I find money?the M1 final reminder state that within 7days if outstanding bill is not cleared, will be considered breach of contractual terms.. will have to pay a fine of $700+..if feel so helpless now..wanted to ask Mum y dint she pay every mthly when sis gave her the money, I knw that her business is not doing well ever since the birdflu incident in Kelantan..indeed she incurred losses everyday coz of the inhumanity of the store owner refuse to reduce the stall rental even thou' he withness the bad biz @ market.

...I'm suffocating.........Depression.
I wish to work and have money, at least I won't be label as a "bug". even sis spends her own money,wat abt me?every time I'll get this question from my Mum/Sis/Dad/Relatives: "When r u finishing ur studies?" I wanted to shout out loud ...But can I help to fast-forward the process? I'm useless now, feel -ve

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Rainny Day..

Its a rainny afternoon, many pple would think that " oh it's good time to take a nap", but for me, I have a peculiar feeling today, while taking the long journey in the bus, appreciating the nature's beauty in the rain...view thru the raindroplet is so funny, people running to get shelter, others just enjoy getting drenched in the nature's shower... :) the feeling is so indescribable, like a peace of body, mind and soul.. the FM radio playing (I'm tuning in to 933 on the hp).well, not forgetting the cool breeze sweeping across my skin...brings a thangy feeling. I was thinking , isn't it a waste if I were to be sleeping and dreaming in my own slumberland? the world is so beautiful. *Breathe of misty air*

All these little appreciation is possible because I wasn't in my usual routine, normally, I'll just dug myself in the straits times until I reach my destination. Well, I was just I sec late withness the last paper being bought by an aunty,and I thought its gonna be a rather borded journey, guess not. I little something in life perks me up :) Hmmm.. everything in life happens for a meaning. Its up to us to find out.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Medical Leave -.-"

For the past few days,I've been quite sick..
asthmatic, sighz~ my movement resembles 80-year-old granny,
coz' I have difficulty breathing..
took the medicine from the family doc.
it makes me feel so drowsy and shivery ..
can't even hold things properly,
worse when reading newspaper, my hands can't stop shaking...
anyway, I'm perspiring now, don't understd y..
pray hard that I'll get well soon.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

My Dream Room....Cost about $3k

ain't it so cosy and breezy...+*+ I wish *+*

TV Shelf Price unknown



Monday, September 13, 2004

1 more paper down..

just finish my OB paper today..
well I was well prepared to ans 5 qns but
guess i should have prepared more coz' topic on
Changes didn't come out...
that really test my story-telling skill
by choosing a question that I have no ideal abt and blah blah..
hopefully the 4 questions that I did can score well ...
If i get 16 for each of the 4 questions I can aces this module..
cross my fingers and pray hard...

And happen that today supposed to have a lesson in the morning but I didn't notice coz its a make-up for the next lez that the lecturer can't make it.
I realised that only when I bumped onto JE and KR at the lift lobby.
joinned them for lunch...

then 15 mins b4 the test, met up with the OB grpmates..
they are very chatty pple, guessed that's y they are in HR ..
1st time they are so syncronised...
"wah, xiao mei, u very stress issit? why loss so much weight?"
i gave them a "question-mark" face...

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Healthy Living

Went to the gym at Yishun Stadium today with sis.
been such a long time I stop gyming..
feel that my muscles need some toning..
Hmmm.. shall make it a routine...
but weekend will be very crowded..
after awhile I realised that I can take it
anymore coz my flu is back...
*ah-chooo~* excuse me :(
then went to the changing room to get changed and
dad drove us home for dinner..
I can't taste a thing.. *sniff*

Monday, September 6, 2004

Sunday, September 5, 2004


went to meet up with Arlene...
chilling at starbucks... and keep blowing my nose..
pardon me for that unsightful action :(
think for that 1 hour, the whole table is full of tissues :P

Hate flu..make my body feel so blocked.
runny-nose and sore throat...
didn't stay long coz I feel like I am drowsy alr.
make my way home ... bath, took the medic...
oh, wanted to get the medic from clinic but its Saturday,
half day... too late.
feeling terrible, worse than the prev days..
coz my throat is so dry and painful that I didn't dare to
cough or blow my nose, I just want to go into
slamberland and forget about the sore.. zzZ

Friday, September 3, 2004

band gathering

woke up late...have to rush cab..
was caught in the jam..think its a waste of money
coz it took me the same time if I take the bus instead.

well, today's law class is terrible..
we discuss serveral cases about contract and agreements.
think with legal bounding every little
actions must be careful to avoid getting sued..
even things like buying things from supermarket
or even taking public transport..

after lesson went to work, boring...
lotsa pple come in just to browse,
with no intention to purchase anything..
stood there for 4 hours and the supervisor tell me that I can go early..
I wonder y... aniwae, it doesn't matter...
I arrange with fen to meet earlier in town then..
sore feet...not used to wearing shoes I guess.
went to visit mei's workplace and chat there for awhile b4 meeting jenn..
then went ard window shop coz we're way too early to 7.30pm..
cant make it...i ned to sit down, went to mac.
my first meal of the day!

then pple arrive one after another..
meet at swensen's..
ordered ice-blended only...
then the suggested prog after dinner is Ktv.
when to the kboz @ cine.
no money alr, very much wanted
to go home coz feel awkward being cashless..
aniwae fen paid 1st ... till 2am ... zzzzz...

time really flies,
this is what I feel after attending the gathering..

Thursday, September 2, 2004

Law makes me mad..

Spent the whole day figuring how to do the tutes questions..
in the end i found out that I did the wrg question..
discussed with claamates over MSN about the sushi question.
sighz with law, even buying sushi becomes bounding of contract,
sounds terrible anyway...

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

my turn to fall sick

really have to thank my dear friend for the WinXP CD,
I managed to recovered the PC..
other than that, nothing to fill in here..
ya, my turn to fall sick..
well, perhaps the PC passed me the virus.
and wish that somebody will notice my uncomfy.
ie: like the way I fix up the PC with TLC..
well, well, poor me!

Sunday, August 29, 2004

helplessly ...

a lazy Sunday..
nagged by my mum again...
so stressful everytime I eat...
will ask again when will my course end?
have money to leand her...blah...
can find a part-time job...
the xxx bill come alr.... ?
make me feel so guilty and helpless..

Saturday, August 28, 2004

PC fall sick...

sighz... need to say more?/
think the system got nfected by some virus...
even the Norton / Mcfee Virus Scan cant detect.
well...just my luck..coz currently running XP Pro.
but I only have XP Home edition CD with me.
the person who installed XP Pro. on this PC is now
"enjoying" tax-payers' money in some lala-land...
*arghz* 5:33am already and I am still ..yes awake.


Econs lez today is quite an accomplishing 3hrs...
well, guess I am quite ok with this module...
considering I have zero background ...
after the lect left the class...I become the "tutor"..
explaining the DD and SS...factors..etc.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Rainy day...

been rainning the entire day...
feel so lazzzy..
anyway, after lesson went to CitiLink to ask if Re-
workplace still need staff.. too bad she stammers,
should have guessed that she dint bother to enquire for me.

found out for Jamie's wkplace is paying 5.50 rate for p/t.

went window shop awhile to see if any retail shop is hiring..
saw one...went in to ask ...wait for them to call..
probably next week.

LE 2 : Market Mechanism

*Supply and Demand: The Market Mechanism
( Notes )

*The Market System - Part 1 ( interactive resources )
-The Demand Curve
-Price Elasticity of Demand
-The formula

To calculate the PED we use the following formula:

PED = % Δ in Quantity Demanded (Qd) / %Δ in Price (P)

*The Market System - Part 2( interactive resources )
-Shifts in the Demand Curve
-The Supply Curve
-Factors influencing the level of supply

The Market System - Part 3( interactive resources )
-Putting Demand and Supply Together: The Market Mechanism

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

New term starts with Economics..

after 1 whole mth of resting at home..
feel very tired on the 1st day of the new term.
its Econs..well, I have no idea whats that about,
but since the lect said the same thing I heard Bb mention b4:
its about "supply and demand"..
lets see whats isit about..
sort of looking forward tmr's lesson..
after class, dun feel like going home, coz' been home
, for the past few week, sick n tired :P
took the train to Boonlay ...
then meet bb for dinner at a foodcourt...
I ordered the malay rice, no appetite coz' dun slp well
the nite b4... droopy eyes -.-
went to Harvey Norman to get printer ink
took the train back home...
really long journey and the cabin's very packed.
reached yishun...took the cab...took tired..
then saw curry chicken on the table..
tsk tsk...wasted,
what a delicacy but I have no appetite..
ate an egg-tart..
then , time for lights off...
everybody went back to their room..
I stay back in the living room,
watched parliment rally 2004.
Zaizai was chased out of the room by mum coz he's too noisy..
keep barking non-stop... have to sleep at the fish tank...
dun look at me with that puppy eyes...
my room cannot accomodat doggy..

LE 1: (A)Intro to Econs (B)Scarcities & Choice



-Unlimited Wants
-Limited Resources
-Types of Commodity
-The Economic Problem
*Economic Systems
-Market Economies
-Command Economies
-Mixed Economies
*Economic Goals
-High level of Employment
-Price stability
-Equitable income distribution

*Rational Choice

*Branch of Economy






*Production Possibilities Curve (PPC)
-Any point on the PPC = production possiblity
-Any point inside PPC = waste / under-utlised
-Any point outside PPC = Impossibility
-PPC shift outwards = productivity capacity increase
-PPC shift inwards = productivity capacity decrease

*Opportunity Cost

-Absolute advantage
-Comparative advantage
-Economy of Scale
high output = lower cost = narrow variety
low output = high cost = wide variety


(a) PPC shows what is the desireable qty of each goods to produce.
(b) PPC shows what is the qty of A & B we can produce given resources & prevailing technology.
(c) we can produce 100 unit of A and 50 unit of B.
(d) X is a production possibility
(e) Y indicates under-utilization of resource.
(f) It is possible to produce at point Y.
(g) It is possible to produce at point Z
(h) we can produce 20 units of A & 40 units of B.
(i) At point X, what is the oppportunity cost of producing 20 units of B

You can plant either Crop A (100 tons) or Crop B (80 tons).

(a) What is the opportunity cost of planting A?
(b) What is the opportunity cost of planting B?
(c) Which crop has higher opportunity cost?
(d) Which crop would you plant?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Rotting Weekends

Nothing to do ....
so bored.. my internet connection is very slow these few days..
wonder y? isit the cable or my PC?
aniway, I keep myself bz trying to edit a blogskin for fen..
very broke..need to find a part-time job.

Saturday, August 21, 2004


Thought this pic is quite cool..

Thursday, August 19, 2004


juz got into slamberland...
before I even start dreaming, zai start barking non-stop... it fixed, then the tama babies beep..sighz..
there goes my morning..I woke up early in the morning, impossible.
then mum comes home cook lunch, took a shower and head to tp...
long journey...transferred 3 buses just to get to the office.
then a heavy downpour out of the sudden...
cashless...not even a single cent with me.
managed to get a drink using *-send .after that use my debit card to pay another drink at cafe..since I've insufficient fund to make a withdrawal...
after tat..wait for bb arrived...had dinner...wait for Rena...didn't manage to meet her coz she's got to stay late at work... tired... so took a cab home..

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


early in the morning dad called and ask whether I drive his lorry...
strange...dint even step out of the house..
sighz, the lorry was being towed away
coz his boss dint pay installments

anyway...Ber say she got the results..
so i quikly went to check the mailbox..
got BBD...sighz..
thats bad..Meilin 'super' got 3As.
I muz work harder..
anyway...follow mum n dad to load n deliver coconut..
hmm.. think when I start working I must let mum n dad enjoy life..
they have been working so hard..
hope to fulfil their dream to go see the world..
they havent been to any other country except M'sia n Thailand.
had lunch ...treat them duck rice..
think mum is prompting something...
was telling me that sis dun give her allowance anymore...
and the Power/Water Supply bill is doubled..

then went to meet the seller for GD88 at lakeside..
Bb came to buy A200 for her mum too..
she's so inspired to get a car like the seller's,
after sitting in for a while to deal the hp.. :)

bought movie tix ...came home to have dinner..
catch 'Catwoman'... quite a nice show...
thanks for the day... been quite fruitful..

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

living a hermit's life

Been staying in the room for the past few days..
ya, bored, what to do..
waiting for the term to start so that
I'll have things to look 4ward to.

sitting infront of the pc ..
searching for a hp deal all day long..

Sunday, August 15, 2004

feel the heart aching...

how should I feel...
my body smell like the food on the table..
in the middle of the night..2am
preparing a meal for love one..

forget about my hunger coz I smell exactly like the food..
took a shower...
bb ate 2 out of 3 meat patty,which took me 5 mins to cook.
and ONLY 1 out of 6 tofu which took me 20mins frying it..
and wats most horrible than to withness the food
being thrown into the waste..

my reaction? ... better sleep and dream .
goodnite to me...
there goes my day.

Love me for who I am

went to town ,
went popular to look for fountain pen,
no luck...
went hello shop to change plan..
bought a chocolate chip ice-cream,
coz' its bb fav favour...
then dinner settled at creap & cream..
in foul mood...
came home...silence...

I am so hungry now...
didn't really taste the food juz nw..
sighz, guess I'm gonna sleep with it..

From: Tz To: tpmz
Date: Aug. 14 2004, 11:22 pm
are u very sad at the moment?
how can I help?
From: typmz To: Tz
Date: Aug. 15 2004, 8:38 am
Show your love..
Once upon a time something happened to me.
it was the sweetest thing that could ever by.
it was a fantasy, a dream come true.
it was the day i met u.
I hope that sweetest moment didn't fade away with time....

if u learn to love, u will love to learn.

there is no remedy for love but to LOVE MORE.
if u love me tell me so. for u never know what
tomorrow may have in store &
learn a lesson in life each day that u live.

the love in our hearts wasn't put there to stay.
for love isn't love until it's given away....
if u love, express it...

Friday, August 13, 2004

Mute handphone pissed off

came to realised that bb dun like to pick up calls...
no matter when and where... calling her really makes me puke.
her coursemate might have this weird habit,
that doesn't mean that she has to follow...
yes, following everywhere , guess after the course,
I'll be staying with a "YehL duplicate" anyway...
it's kinna pissing me off at times.
behaving as if she's using a PODliTe plan...
if that is the case I'm afraid, one fine day if
I'm rob or rape or murdered in some place,
dun wonder y my bb is not he 1st one to know about it,
coz' she'll juz reply a SMS: "sms pls.."

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

It's my Life

different cultures, beliefs,
emotions and problems..
ya human...
thats wat makes each of us special..

Trust no one..

Sunday, August 8, 2004

Countdown to National Day

bb sold my Sony Ericsson...
hopefully will get a new hp soon...
Well, luckily there isnt any sms to reply today.
Can't imagine smsing with Motorola T190..
really makes me boil...
or else whoever receive my sms will have a hard time
"decoding" what I'm typing..
Nothing much happening today...

Saturday, August 7, 2004

Got quite a few things Done...

Prepared to meet the T610 buyer in town with Bb..
while heading towards town, in the train realized
Bb didn't take down the buyer's contact number
& I forgot about the charger..sighz...anyway the buyer did not contact us..
guess he must have forgotten to tae down our contact as well..

Reached town meet Ann, Jason ,Christine and her Friend...

Went to Hello-shop @ Orchard to transfer ownership..
Find out the price difference of Corp Plan vs the Normal Price..

Went Starhub @ PS to get GIRO forms...

At LJS Chris and friend decided to sell us their tickets since they feel uncomfortable
without buying anything...they want to go shopping...
Ann & Jason went to borrow car from his Aunt..

Still got some time in between, so we walked back
to return Fong's hp since we've brought it along...
On the way there noticed Siu @ Mac'Cafe..
Sat down and chat , while waiting for Fong to knock off
Time to go catch the movie...
took a bus from CK Tang bus-stop to PS

Watched 8.30pm "Village" at GV Plaza..
Quite a Twist in the storyline...
"Conspiracy" is the word to use..
the bottomline...
"people like to escape from their mistakes..
FACE it manz...its the real world...lies after lies.."
Gosh~ I think I can be the script writter..haahaha,
coz' I sort of got guessed it correctly
while chewing on my candies ..
and hiding my face from all the "scary" scenes...
Well,I hate the feeling for being scared..
ask me to watch super sad and romantic movies,
I am "on" anytime... :)
and see my eyes all red and bluggy after sad movies...



There is goes....
I am "Gold Lion"

.....who is rather serious and polite type of person.
I value personal relationships.
I suppress Irself and act to be a sociable person.
But I am a person who doesn't like to loose to anyone.
I dislike emotional atmosphere and vague attitude.
I want to make everything clear-cut.
I like to stay in Ir own little world.

If I get in a situation where there are lots of people
I can not express myself and act as a perfect person.

I am not very subjective sort of person,
unlike ordinary women,
but unfortunately I lack soft and gentle atmosphere.

I tend to be too bold.
I cannot help but stretch my hand to those who are in need.
I will help the weak.

I am also weak on compliments,
and will work enthusiastically after someone has given a compliment.

I will go about my duty steadily and loyally,
and not get in a rush to achieve the objective.

I have perseverance,
and will work effortlessly until I reach my objective.
Something that I have worked steadily for a long,long time,
will turn out to be an asset to the world.

I am careful and rational, therefore place value to steady life.
After getting married, I will be a devoted mother and a wife,
but I am a very Independent person,
prefer to keep my own little world.

well how true issit???
I think only 65% true...

Anyone Interested to go??

Ticketing details: Mardi Gras has finished its run. Its sequel Top Or Bottom will be staged at the Jubilee Hall, Raffles Hotel from August 4 to 9, and from August 11 to 14 at 8pm. There are also 3pm matinees on August 7 and 8, and August 14.

Top Or Bottom is rated RA(18) (for audiences 18 and above only). Tickets at $26, $36 and $46 are available at Sistic (tel: 6348-5555 or Concessions available for students, NSF and senior citizens.

Mardi Gras and Top Or Bottom are part of the first ever Nation.04 Arts programme which includes several other plays and art exhibitions. Get a discount off tickets by using the password "Rainbow Fridae" at SISTIC. For more information, call Rainbow at 6440-8115 or visit

Friday, August 6, 2004

Lazy Day...

Spending the day Searching for Music on Kazaa
in my PJ and nerdy Specs and bed-hair for the entire day ,
browsing and searching for the Genre of the type of Music..
According to a website, its defined as follow:

Nu-jazz (sometimes electro-jazz) was coined in the late 1990s to refer to styles which combine jazz textures and sometimes jazz instrumentation with electronic music. Like the term electronica, nu jazz is a loosely defined umbrella musical style.

It ranges from the infusion of live instrumentation to house beats of jazz house exemplified by French St Germain and German Jazzanova; to more band-based improvised jazz with electronic elements such as that of the British Cinematic Orchestra, and the Norwegian future jazz style pioneered by Bugge Wesseltoft.

Nu-jazz typically ventures farther into the electronic territory than does its close cousin, acid jazz (or groove jazz), which is generally closer to earthier funk,
soul and rhythm and blues, although releases from noted groove jazz artists such as the Groove Collective blur the distinction between the styles.


Been a long time I since I last stick to the tv for more than 3 hours..
watched sprited away with sis on tv...
so creative...and heart-warming...
I just like these kind of "soobb.." movies..
Guess if I were to be born in my Granny's era,
I'll be in love with one of those soap

Thursday, August 5, 2004

Quote of the Day!

Very true in the working environment

Live A Life That Matters

Ready or not,someday it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes,hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten,
will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations,
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans,
and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion,
courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories,
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Chicken Rice

Meet Ann and Chris in the morning, travel to walk togather..
then continue the transcripting...
going to go crazy anytime..stressed internet connection,
that means I have to keep doing my work without resting...
lunch time..Yvonne stand beside me , gime a shock..
anyway , I realised that I dint drink any water yet,
walked to Great World City Food Court to eat Bamboo Steam Rice
then Crytaline treat us ice-cream..I had choco-chips..
after that continue type non-stop ...can't wait to finish it...
yeah` finally at 3-plus..I return the recorder to David..
Jorina not there, so he signed the Invoice for my pay..
then hand it to Irene..
Suppose she has another assignment for 1 mth start 16th Aug..
I can't make it...term gonna start soon..
Then took bus to Outram Mrt station and head home..
Mum taking a nap..
I prepare the ingredients for chicken rice...
make the chilli sauce and the rice and boil the chicken..
yummie smells nice..
Dad came home 1st guest...
he say its very nice` *smilez*
and I smell like chick rice too..oily

Tuesday, August 3, 2004


Thought I was late for work, coz the traffic jam was horrendous.
according to the cabbie, all the vehicles slow down to wait for
9am to pass so taht they wont have to pay the ERP.
Damn~ better give the incharge a call to say that
I'll be late.. then realize that the meeting start at 9.30pm.
Reached the office at 9.20am.. sat at the receipt
talked to Irene for awhile and she decided to raise my pay by $30..
now I know why, coz the job aint easy...

imagine have to listen and type out the exact
dialogue of that 1hr 45 min conference...
8 people talking, and that indian guy speaks with
an accent that I can't catch what he is trying to say sometimes.

Then Jorina released that the cassette recorder dint work...
left the digi voice recorder which I guess they are not willing to let me bring home.. well, have to stay in the office to do the transcripting...
my ears almost turn deaf and I wanted so much to shout at the digi recorder..
what the **** is this..
Its all about IT security issues...
VPN, IPS, ASIC, gateway, firewall, Anti-spam..etc...

after work supposed to wait for Bb at cityhall,
went over to Suntec to see if there is any show that we can catch later..
legs pain, bruises and blisters...
walk for another hour ... muscleache...
sit at coffeebean, Siu called...don't think I have the strength already to move to town..its turning dark, tired...demoralised...
walked to the mrt station, went to Lavendar station... waited so long...
decided to talk the bus to Sg Casket ..
Bb called ...well, I'm already there..had a drink at the nearby coffeeshop..
took a cab home...
walked along the Pasam Malam along the road...
bath....Bb gave me a massage..but her face like somewhere else..
too tired I guess..I fall asleep without noticing.

Monday, August 2, 2004

Love declaration...

To: Baby

this ecard might seems very old-fashion, but i just want to put across to you that I love a very conservative manner...ever since yu came into my life, you make me so in love even after a long way ... all the ups and downs that we gone thru' 2gthr really makes me see what is LOVE. and yes i agree with you that we didn't lead luxurious lifestyle, yet I'm so contented with it, having you in my life is way better than living a million-dollar-life.
Once again, I want you to be assure that my love for you has never change and will never, no matter what happens, promise me that you will not give up, like I do.
- Angel

Sunday, August 1, 2004

I Want to go Sammi Concert & Play "Mergers & Wills"

Event Title:
Mergers & Wills

Toy Factory Theatre Ensemble present(s)
RA(18)(In Mandarin)

Date & Time Range:
From 06 Aug 2004 (Fri), 7.30 PM
to 22 Aug 2004 (Sun), 7.30 PM

Toy Factory at the Attic
21 Tanjong Pager Road, Level 4

Standard Price: $29
add $2 SISTIC Fee for tickets above $20
and $1 SISTIC Fee for tickets below $20.
Charges include GST where applicable.


Event Title:
Sammi Cheng World Tour 2004

Date & Time Range:
27 Aug 2004 (Fri), 8.00 PM

Singapore Indoor Stadium
2 Stadium Walk

Standard - $148, $128, $98, $68
add $2 SISTIC Fee for tickets above $20
and $1 SISTIC Fee for tickets below $20.
Charges include GST where applicable.

Spent a day in town

woke up feeling lazy...
dragging myself to get ready to model for Fen's exam..
she smsed me saying that she will be late .
so arr to mit at a later time..
trying to find the best matching outfit for her makeup theme.
in the end brought a few sets, so that she can pick and choose.
sighz..dint expect that she is so calm..
well, everyone in the room is so excited and ready ..
she got "black n white" for the 1st round..
45mins to do everything up...
15mins break...
12.30pm: next round..
creative makeup..she did the flora vinery on my face..
the title was sprung out at the very last min..
gosh ...phew~
then gotta have some photo-taking session...
took such a long time for everyone to position..

quickly washup my face and change..
there's buffet lunch cathered by the school..
have a quick bite..wanted to wait with Fen for her result
oh, btw, Jennifer is all along outside with a couple of other
classmates came specially to support those taking exams..

Anyway, dint wait for the results, quite dissapointed actually,
went to Taka to get a pair of sandals
(at the sales department,guessed thats where my bdae pressie from the "weird couples" came from).
then meet Bb and we went to take neocards (took 3 of them)
so inspired to take more coz we are so dressed up for it..
Thot of making it a whole day event to spend with Bb..
but some pple are just so inconsiderate..
not to mention names...we plan to watch "mean girls"
by the time we got some "response" from someone...
the ticket is already sold-out.. sianz 1/2!

Then went across the road to HMV checking out the genre to the type of
music that I liked...some how quite relaxing to me..
no lyrics coz I'm reall bad at
Then i went to the 3rd storey of HMV "dance" section..
realized that they are actually 2 different types of music
(the 2 CDs that Charmaine burnt for me):

Found some at the shelf labelled:
-Acid Jazz / Down Tempo Compilations

Some of the CD Titles I take note of:
- BarGrooves
- The Ultimate Chillout Classics
- Songs fron The Chillout Lounge
- Nu Cool
- Cafe Del Mar

The background is playing this:
-Peter Rauhoufer 'live' @ ROXY
(thot is quite cool)

yupperz, guessed I'm into this type of scene..
If I ever go clubbing ...
Will see me ard in places where they spin these type of music.
Mox is 1 place, then ...where else??
Velvet Underground?
The Winebar @ Zouk?

Friday, July 30, 2004

Expect the Unexpected Shit

Yesterday Bb went home,missed her badly...
went str8 to the PC to chat after Fen finish
experimenting on my face..near midnight alr.

Got to sleep coz I've a 1-day relief job today.
woke up in the morning feeling tired.
drag myself to bath and dressed
Meet Ann and her sis at Yis mrt station.
train packet like sardines..stand all the wat to CityHall
already late ITS 9AM...yet we're still waiting for the feeder
bus ... went there appologise for my lateness .
Irene brief me about the scope and functions....
she's a nice mid-age lady...

Went lunch with Chris at Great World City.
ya, the day went by, been quite fine...
Irene came by ard 5pm remind me to off the lights
and PC before I leave.and gave me a piece of cake.

The company allow staffs to use MSN and surf net..
so I did ... saw Wense online thot could catch up with him
about his work at GV.
Guess its really DUH! he added Matt into our conversation...
what a cold stage!! duno what to talk about ...
Wense realised his fault ..started to break the ice..
What to do leh?
just be cool lor...ask stupid question like "how's life?",
"how's studies?", "got a car?", "how's the weather?"
all these crap.

wanted to take the chance when Irene walk by
to tell Wense & Matt that I m busy and get out of MSN..
sekali Irene saw what I type and say,:
"you carry on, dun scared lah,
now nothing to do u can relax
and chat with your friend"

In my mind I'm like ...
Yes , yes, yes.
I m Chatting (but not really chatting with F-R-I-E-N-D)
yes, yes, yes.
I have nothing to do (but NOW I wish I have things to do)
yes, yes, yes.
I m in NOT relaxing or ENJOYING.

Came home tired ...
drink lotsa water.. I dint dare to go toilet
coz too much calls to transfer in the midday