Saturday, November 27, 2004

Reflection Period (20 Nov 2004 - 29 Nov 2004)

DAY 1 (20th Nov 2004, Saturday)

I initiated this plan, just to let both of us have some time to think it over, since there seems to be never ending conflicts that we both can't compromise. I don't know when I became such a possessive freak. Think she is getting fed up with my SMS whenever she is out to meet with that group of people. I keep thinking why can't I get to share this friendship that she is having now...its not like it used to be, we used to go and meet friends, and have fun together. But seems like this particular group has some discrete secret to share among themselves, I have no idea who they are,other then their names. I am feeling more and more inferior as the day passes; I have no self control to vent my misery, inflicting pain on myself has became a habit. Wonder why things has turn sour, is that the way it ought to be? I am hoping that its not. I can be great listener and consultant to my pals' problems, but when I am facing my own problem, I feel so lost. Finally tell myself to give it another change,admitting the fact that I want to see her and give her a big hug. On the contrary,I feel so lousy, feel like being taken for granted after last night session…anything more insensitive that I deserved to be left alone today? Just put it behind,love is to give and take isn't it? Meet her at the Wedding banquet, told her I don't feel like staying till the end, coz' I feel uneasy as the crowd is non-of our age. Gave her the bracelet I bought, and she asked me why did I buy her things… no good reason, just feel like surprising her with that blackbox. Mysterious box. Had a drink at Center Point Mac. She was looking tired, yawning all the way and requesting for the freedom that she ought to have with the group of friends… for a moment, okay, guess I am simply restricting and pressuring her, so I say "well, maybe I am…” let's catch the last train before we are too late."
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DAY 2 (21st Nov 2004, Sunday)

Was quite a peaceful day, woke up really late coz' had the internet and router set up.Crazy us, chatting on MSN even tho' we're both in the same room. And chatting with our friends as well. Hmm.. been some time since we skip church services. Thought it will a good start... Then she tell me that she has planned to go for a badminton session with the group @ the Khatib stadium. I'm fine with it hope nothing happen,coz' that group of gals seems to have all possible conspiracy among themselves. Kissing other people's girlfriend, best pals liking a charming new-comer and secretly admiring each other etc, etc ... Making me feeling more insecure, put aside the fact that I never seen or know any one there.

Listening to "Imagine Me Without You" by Jaci Velasquez
Verse 1
As long as stars shine down from Heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
Verse 2
In my life, You're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
Chorus:
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without You
Verse 3:
When You caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard my calling
And You rushed to set me free
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
Chorus
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You
I need You
Chorus
I can't imagine me without You

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DAY 3 and 4 ( 22nd - 23rd Nov 2004, Monday )

Woke up in the morning, I promise to patch things together... I gave her a BIG teddy bear hug and kiss.Feeling quite alright, still controlling myself telling myself not to remain her that I am worried about the badminton, just mention a few little cranky lame scenarios that might happen at the badminton court later when they have their game...(jokingly) then off I go for my lesson. And I ask if want to meet me after my lesson, she just say "if you want to join us for dinner later, no confirm, will update me again"...Test was postpone coz' not everyone is present today, to be fair the lecturer postpone it to Wednesday, consider a blessing in disguise coz' I didn't really have the mood to study. Class ended early, I haven't got any idea where to head since she didn't inform my anything, I called her and she say she is going back to Kallang tonight , and she's now at Bishan with the group of friends loitering aimlessly. I wanted to tell her that no matter isit just walking aimlessly or just sit down and "rot" as long as she's beside me, it does matter wat the program is I'm still enjoy the moment.... think twice , I better not... promised to give her the freedom.So I took the bus home, and noticed that she didn't bring the laptop alone, which is not very her, 1 night without online @ Kallang? Impossible! So I called her and ask: "why such an impulse decision to go back Kallang tonight?" Finally, I got the answer, they are heading town to wait for some other friends to knock off from work and chit-chat in town area, and she say that its more convenient to go Kallang.. oh well, Control, control, control myself...
Then she say: " well, what's wrong huh??I can go to Yishun if you want..."
Sighz.. Its alright never mind, I'm speechless... thinking of how to settle my own dinner is more practical...instant noodle I guess, no appitite. Home alone! ya its Monday...

Waiting .. evening till dark,
I did a very unethical thing and I don't care how "M" insulted me , or tell her ...I just want to know is my Bb safe, I'm feeling so helpless ? I'm hearing sound I'm hallucinating or wat? It's morning... not a single news from her... after she hung up on me for the 2nd line at abt 12midnight ... my dear , it hurts! I think I ate too much medic...head spinning and numb, can't stand and walk and I'm feeling giddy.. I don't care ! I think she told me that she is going Kallang for the night... force myself to walk and throw myself into the cab and went to her hse... her parents were sleeping... and she isn't come home... 8am ... keep on calling... I'm afriad that she might be kipnapped or met with an accident , worried! finally got thru' her line... relieve angry and giddy ... for a moment I release my weak body and drop on the ground... blackout... and i can hear vacuum ringing in my ears.. next moment I'm in the bed when I open my eyes... and her Mom gave me a cup of hot Milo..I still can't stand up, I can feel the spinning sensation.... got to go home... I need to rest... I'm feeling nausea and twist in my stomach.. drag myself home... walk 2 steps, feeling giddy, squat down and stand up , walk 2 steps... took me long time to reach the road side.... got into the cab and I'm home...
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Day 5 ( 24th Nov 2004, Wednesday)

we just say hi-and-bye at her hse, coz I need to charge my hp ...
when she reached home I went out.
I feel so depressed, so I took the whole evening to recall all that we have gone thru' I smiled,
it felt so nice recalling those little things that she did for me, but I just don't know why my tears just roll down my cheeks when the sky turn dark... couples, couple, couples everywhere I look around me. When I reach home, she is in bed toggling with her hp, coz I saw the hp lights still on in my dark room. then she got up and went to the phone and called her friend, I supposed is one of them from the grp of people. she seemed so happy and I said goodnite to her with a kiss. she continued.
Hug her when she finally got into bed, she was complainning about her bodyache, I massaged for her, and tried to be senseous, it dint work, I was shock for a while, thinking that what is wrong, she no longer feel it?? anyway, I had hugged her to sleep. and she said that tmr is all mine, she will take MC and spend the day with me.
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Day 6 (25th Nov 2004 , Thursday)

She went to take MC in the morning and we planned to go sun-tanning nearby... but YSC is half day, went to YCK SC, its closed too and it started to rain. I suggested that we go for a karaoke session at Bishan.... been quite some time we spend time together... think its a great chance for me to get close to her "holiday mood"... I move closer and requested her to hugg me cz the room is extremely cold.. I feel the warmth and fall asleep for a moment, havent been sleeping well for the past few days... then I was quite affected by her hp, it keep beeping and ringing, and she put it to silent mood, yet she still reply, I look thru the messages and noticed that she deleted smses (sent messages) selectively, esp smses from these pple... I asked her why and she say she cultivated this habit from me. (me again? didn't I take back my words after we had a talk about privacy and personal space?) I thought I have already change and she is feeding me with what I said now... sighz... i say its voided, I stop that long ago..and whatever thing that she feel that is hindering our relationship I will stop doing if she didnt like, for the simple reason that I love her., and I want her to know that.

we reached home in the evening, after that 4-hour ktv session, and she was rushing out to meet her friends again.. dint she mention that the day is mine? is the day supposed to be just a 4-hr ktv session. I feel so jilted when she insisted that she is late to meet her frds alr while I talked to her. I ask whether she can bring me along, her immediate answer is "NO!" I asked her why, and she said that "just don't want to! and she just want o have her freedom"
FREEDOM! what exactly is freedom when we are in a relationship?
I am still searching for the answer.... I used to say that, but I changed, for the better of this relationship.I got so fed up that I went out too... breathe some fresh air , it didn't work for me.
I keep telling myself do not reply her, I still did, coz I don't want her to get worried. I am lost! I don't know where I'am heading to, aimlessly walking .... thinking that she will realised that I am caring for her..
recalling what she told me in the cab when we quarrel, I was tempted to end my life...
but I remember that she said no - she hate to be threatened, but I don;t have that intention to threaten her at all. Just think that I am feeling lousy at that moment.
who will understand how I feel ?

I don't want to go home so early coz it makes me think of her, the smell of her in my bed and pillow, the picture of her , her things around my room... I am self-indulgence!!!!! imagine that she is doing work in the kitchen, imagined that she tell me to go to sleep first...think I am drunk.
wonder how is she now. my pillow is soaked with tears again...

Why is this happening to me?
Did I briught it upon myself?
Is there a "limit" to love ?

questions flooded me again, but I have no answer to it.
I am still thinking of her, but I promised not to "bug" her with calls and sms.
hope that she enjoyed her night with them. I turn around to say "goodnight Bb, I love you" and I swallowed that kiss coz she is not around.
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DAY 7 ( 26th Nov 2004, Friday)

I woke up and realised that the laptop is still around, and guess she will need that, so I bring it to class and rush to put the lappy in her house during my 1-hr lunch break... was quite a rush... and bought some bits for her thinking that she might be hungry after a long nite. Anyway, nobody is at home (*phew!* save the embarassment).. I realised that her bag wasn't home or anything that she brought along last night. Guess she didn't go home again. (Stop wild guessing!!!) .. sob!!

"bloated chest " (men qi) why is that so?
Is she feeling the same?
what I really want is to spend time holding my holding her hands , strolling along the beach, or resting on each other's shoulders star-glazing... guess my mind is so stubborn, even when i get to nap I dream of her screaming at me that I am a bugger...gosh!

Apparently someone hacked into my msgr to delete her contact from my list , I was shock, can't believe my own eyes, and fall into deeeper depression. I can feel my heart stop for a moment and almost fall right to the bottom. I thot its her, I want to know what happen, she replied that she didn't.

think I m so in love with this song "Imagine me without Me" - it simply speaks my mind.. listening to it over and over again , and tears roll down my cheeks naturally when I turn around and the room is emplty... cold turkey treatment on me is quite cruel :(

I can't wait till 30th Nov 2004 , 7pm to arrive!!! I really miss her alot ..
and for the past few nights when she is not ard in my bed, I waited for her call, coz thats what we will do b4 sleeping.. to have a little lovie-dovie chat on the phone and kiss gdnite...
did she divert that practise on her so-called frds already? and I don't get abit of it...

Went out to MM with them... was feeling unwell coz I drank to much at home for the past few days.. and I danced with my eyes shut coz' I hate to realise that she is not here but elsewhere with other people. stand really near the syste, music blasting into my ears..

The pain in my stomach became unbearable after I puke, and IS THAT BLood? ..
sheesh! she finally realise my existance... she fetch me home in a cab.
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DAY 8 ( 27th Nov 2004, Saturday )


领悟 : 幸福是自己打造的天空
= 相信 , 坚持

She feel that group of people hurt her... and feel that they are not the type that she is looking out for in friendship.. what took her so long? when I already repeat myself to her the truth, she refuse to take it. I was hurt back then, that why I can feel how she is feeling right now....


"what u give, is what u expect in return.."
but it hurts when the world doesn't work this way all the time.
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DAY 9 ( 28th Nov 2004, Sunday )
Listening to Songs by Matilda Tao
"太委屈"
当她横刀夺爱的时候 你忘了所有的誓言 她扬起爱情胜利的旗帜 你要我选择继续爱你的方式 你曾经说要保护我 只给我温柔没挫折 可是现在你总是对我迥避 不再为我有心事而着急 人说恋爱就像放风筝 如果太计较就有悔恨 只是你们都忘了告诉我 放纵的爱 也会让天空划满伤痕 太委屈 连分手也是让我最后得到消息 不哭泣 因为我对情对爱 全都不曾亏欠你 太委屈还爱着你你却把别人拥在怀里 不能再这样下去 穿过爱的暴风雨 宁愿清醒忍痛地放弃你 也不在爱的梦中委屈自己
"离开我"
我把你的电话从手机里消除了 我把你的消息从话题里减少了 我把你的味道用香水喷掉了 我把你的照片用全家福挡住了 你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚 你让我的骄傲觉得很无知 你让我的朋友关心我的生活 你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由 离开我 你会不会好一点 离开你 什么事都难一点 车来了 坐上你的明天 车走了 我还站在路边 离开我 你会不会好一点 离开你 什么事都难一点 风来了 云就会少一点 你走了 我住在雨里面
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DAY 10 ( 29th November 2004, Monday)
Went to swim and sun-tan @ YSC.
Learn frog style... guess I am still used to free-style, enjoying myself, wonder if she feel the same way too.. Had lunchie at the foodcourt, new stall "the Paddy" nice crumbled potatoes and caramari and fish...well, at least I'm not alone...I'm really happy..*smiles* ...but I realised that she is still feeling alittle unhappy with the things that happened, disappointment show in her eyes and the way she stares into the air, drift into deep thoughts.... I wanted to ask "how can I help?" they are people that think, speaks and behaves differently, coz' they are young....
Went to watch " Bridget Jones Diary" quite a nice show..
This is the most tender part of love, each other to forgive
Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.
_______________________________________________
the
V E R D I C T :

I LOVE YOU, Baby !
"There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness."

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I am falling....

Yes... I'm depressed...
I'm not a person that complain too much, Coz' I know its lousy.
I want to dedicated my thoughts to a special person -The only person who can stop my tears, but she is also the only one that can cause it.
?????????????????????
Questions and questions flooding in my head. yet unanswerable.
Some questions are better left unanswered, And, I hope, there wont be an end...because I don't like sad ending...

Please make a fairly tale ending that is kiss and be loving again....

I`m in total madness, my tears fall endlessly..the truth is tearing up my heart and I can't breathe...Am I over-reacting to her friends, Am I becoming uncontrollably possesive?
Why did I hurt my arms and still my heart feels more painful?

feel like the endless road without a stop signcant even find a stranger this time why am i still holding back my tears in this fear everytime i ask this would this be the last why am i still talking to myself hoping you would have the keys to cell every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper how do i get out of this i think i never will......

Song that Triggers my thoughts:
(Well.. selectively listening to..)
"My All"

I am thinking of you in my sleepless solitude tonight...If it's wrong to love you then my heart just won't let me be right ... Cause I'm drowned in you and I won't pull through without you by my side... I'd give my all to have ....................... I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on living in the memory of our song I'd give my all for your love ........ Baby can you feel me? imagining I'm looking in your eyesI can see you clearly, vividly Emblazoned in my mindand yet you're so far, like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight



Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Feeling out of place

When to the library to look at the past year papers...went thru a few better rated ones.. impressive..wonder if I can write something like that.
After that when to have a bit then head to town with Bb to her meeting with her grp mates, 20 pple there OMG!!! I feel so out of place.
Then proceed to the KTV with them..wanted to go river view, but dun want to be gooseberry going alone with a couple. so BB ask me to join them at ktv, I went and was a wrg choice, wanted to rest on her shoulder and cling on her when i feel cold but those are her frds that dint know abt les...sighz...then cant smoke , and the most out of place thing is I feel so inferior in that room coz all of them sing as if they are finalist for karaoke competition... I sing like shit.. i feel better singing with pple that i know better of casually singing.
everything is so impressive...
I can't stand it ....I WANT TO BE THE BEST!!!
and I am feeling @$#%^&*()_+ right nw coz went I say, I feel like going home alr, Bb said "ok have a good rest lah" again I feel @$#%^&*() speechless, dun remain me again... I travel in the taxi alone at 1am .........


Quote of the day:

"I've chop and stamp
to live with her
for the rest of my life,
so whatever thing happen
I will bear with it"

Monday, November 15, 2004

Home All Day

Can life be any extreme? I've got full schedule yesterday and today nothing done..
Sis got a new cable modem and the free wireless router... finally its fast.. for the past few weeks has been loading like an ancient machine. Anyway, feel really lazy today.. planned to do my assignment but end up going nothing... arghz! aimless..HELP ME!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

full session

Been a nice day. ..
was at FarEast again,praying hard that Jenn pass exam..
thru'out the session, I'm so kanchion for her, keep telling "faster. no time already" gosh' dint know whether I'm annoying her.. anyway, ya she have no time to put the lashes and eyeliner for me.. when the examiner came in to check, I quicky whisper, "psss...she is not looking here, put the lush for me now.." haha, like kancheong spider, coz only got fake lush one one eye..Then a little short break before the second part of her exam start.. grb a short chat with Jamie and Lyn over at the other room.. coz it's so stressful...the room is like chingay..the other student dressed up their model with gown, wigs and etc..really an eye opener.. Guess Jenn was a little lost when the 2nd exam start, she dint know what to do suddenly, starring in the air for a moment, and I wake her up..after that she dint do what she planned on the paper... just freehand, do whatever comes to her mind.
Think she lacks confident really... But overall enjoy the session there, chatting with the people next to me and catching up with the girls..

Suppose to go home and catch some zzz.. but decided not to, then arrange with Bb to go KTV, but she just woke up...know that she will take a long time to get prepared as usual, bath at least 30 mins, sms her sms-pal, iron clothes and other things etc... bummed onto Ann as I walk along the way to CK Tang, then join her and Jason to shop for her bro's bdae pressie... we almost visit all the possible shop that sell haversack in town, not luck, they are either too squarish or been there for ther last few seasons...well, like I say, when u want to find something intentionally, u can't find, until one fine day when u dun feel like buying then the ONE will just flash infront of you...life!

Time to meet Bb for KTV at carppage .. I reach early, start my own singing, opps hope nobody'd standing outside listening *blush* Bb came and we had a wonderful ktv exploring all the new songs that we have never attempted b4. carzy hours.. freezing.

After that had dinner at Somerset Carpark Street Hawkers...the food there is extremely expensive... 10-stick satay set $19.90 , chicken rice $4.50, popiah $2 !! OMG daylight robbery.. and its not up to standard, i think the chicken rice selling at coffeeshop is nicer..met up with few other pple..considering new to me..but they are rather chatty. Gosh` this little very daring 17-year old gal!! (no comments)I dun really know her well anyway, just suppose to be hi-and-bye.

Hamster drove us to the pub and had a drink, and listen to the live band singing, catch up alittle and seems like everybody is inter-link somehow..what a small world.. THE COUSIN finally appear.. hmm.. alright (no comments) then Don start to target on Hamester... hello!!!! we are out to enjoy, no business here!

Proceed to watch the psychodelic movie "SAW" gruesome and really nice, so far I guess this is one of the best thriller I've watched. I didn't guess the ending , coz' I'm too engrossed.. lucky, nobody bought any popcorn, if not there will be popcorn accidents in the theatre. (10/10) Hmmm..I should have continue with psychology...

Watch an Indie Movie

Sighz...can't believe I watch this indie movie "B&P" , its full of dance and the usual mass dance featured in most indie show...well, not bad thou'. but the theatre is 90% indians...omg..hahaha...I'll rate it 6/10 ..feeling alittle hungry now.

From director Gurinder Chadha and the team that created “Bend It Like Beckham” comes a classic romance not just retold, but reinvented in a new globally connected world. BRIDE AND PREJUDICE puts an entirely different spin on Jane Austen’s story of spirited courtship - Bollywood-style. Music, dance and spectacle merge with love, vanity and social pressures, as Chadha transports the comic tale of a witty young woman trying to find a suitable husband to a cross-cultural setting that spans 21st century India, London and America. It all begins in a modest Indian village when the determined Mrs. Bakshi sets out to find marriage matches for her four beautiful daughters while there’s a lavish wedding party in town. Right away, the smart and headstrong Lalita (Aishwarya Rai) announces she will only marry for love, giving her mother nightmares. Then Lalita meets the wealthy American Will Darcy (Martin Henderson) and sparks immediately fly. But is it love or hate? Darcy comes off to Lalita as an arrogant California snob. Lalita looks to Darcy like a small-town Indian beauty who knows nothing of the world.

Alternately enchanted by and suspicious of one another, Lalita and Darcy nearly fall prey to assumptions, gossip and a comedy of errors . . . until pride is humbled and prejudice overcome so that love can triumph. Gurinder Chadha directs BRIDE AND PREJUDICE from a script by Chadha and Paul Mayeda Berges, which brings to the plot of Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” elements of high-style Bollywood romance, Hollywood songand- dance and the modern realities of international romance.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Watched "Princess Diary 2"

thought its is a well worth spent money to watch this show..its really funny. the story lie is simple just relaxing. full of wows, when the queen showed Mia's room, so spacious and it's like a house itself..walk in wardrobe like a shopping mall with romote control...
But looking at it from another point of view, people might admire the luxury of the loyals, but the queen really put her private life behind...quite an irony actually: princess's wedding turn into queen's wedding.


think lady luck is on our side, after the show, we wanted to walk home who know there is a prestiagege merce cab parking rite there...haaha! uhuh, baby's fav. so we took the cab home, i was thinking will I have the luxury to own a comfy car like that ...just wonder.
Anyway I'll rate the day 9/10 thou' my day seems just started like 11pm :)
Oh ya, bb bought rocher..yummy...been sometime I havent tasted it..can't help it, I know is really late still get a bite.... :D

Saturday, November 6, 2004

can I make it??

    Going for 5-hr CPSS Test on 23 Nov 8am
    some research:
    http://content.miw.com.sg/Mindef/Static/Career/FAQs/enquire_vocation_airforce.asp#q6

    * If I'm phased out from pilot training, will I still have to serve my National Service as an NS man with my initial unit or somewhere else?
    You are likely to be posted back to the previous Army unit where you came from. The only exception is if you have been commissioned as an RSAF Officer during pilot training, you will remain in the Air Force as an NS man

    * Is it possible to apply to be a pilot right after BMT or must I complete my 2 ½ years of NS first. Also, can I apply for pilot before I graduate and then go straight into the Air Force after I have graduated?
    Yes, you can apply 3 months before your studies are completed. However, you will cross over to RSAF for pilot training only after BMT, provided that you are found suitable for pilot training.

    * Will taking supplementary paper(s) affect my application as a pilot or my future in the Air Force if I am selected to be a pilot?
    Supplementary paper(s) will not affect your application as a pilot but you must pass your polytechnic course in order to qualify for this vocation.

    * Is it possible to take pilot as my career when I am under a bond with the Army?
    It is possible provided you meet the entry criteria for the pilot vocation. The entry criteria can be found at our website:"FLY HIGH" section, or you can call our recruitment staff at 1800 270 1010

    * What happens after I have submitted my application form?
    Once we have determined that you fulfil our basic criteria, you will be invited to attend and sit for a test, using the Computerised Pilot Selection System (CPSS).

    * What is the purpose of the CPSS testing?
    The test using the CPSS is specially designed to help us assess if you have the aptitude to become a pilot

    * What will be required of me during the test?
    You are required to answer a series of questions at the computer terminal. Your answers will indicate your sense of direction, response speed and abilities in multi-tasking and instrument reading. You will also be tested on your psychomotor skills, and finally be put through a personality test.

    * Will there be guidelines given to me during the test?
    Yes, detailed instructions will be given. Follow these instructions closely and answer as many questions as possible.

    * What is the duration of the CPSS test and where is it held?
    It is a five-hour test conducted at the SAF Careers Centre at Depot Road, CMPB.

    * What happens after I have done the CPSS test?
    If you pass the CPSS, we will schedule you for a thorough medical examination at our medical centres. In particular, our aviation doctors will look out for symptoms like asthma, hypertension, migraine and astigmatism, as these conditions may render a person unsuitable for pilot training.

    * Should I be mindful of my diet before attending the medical examinations? You should try to maintain a balanced diet, and drink plenty of water before going for the medical examinations. It is also recommended that you stay away from using earphones as they may affect your ability to pick up low decibel sounds.

    * Is the medical examination important?
    Yes, it is important because the outcome will determine your medical fitness and suitability for flying.

    * Will there be any other tests after I have passed the CPSS and the medical examinations?
    No. However, you will be required to attend the Pilot Selection Interview, where you will be presented to the Pilot Selection Board.

    * Who will make up the Board?
    The Pilot Selection Board comprises the Commander of Flying Training School (FTS) as Chairman, and other senior officers from FTS and HQ RSAF.

    * What is the purpose of this interview
    The purpose is to get to know you better. We will also be interested to know why you wish to become a pilot, your personality traits, your potential to take on leadership roles and, most importantly, if you have the X-factor to be a pilot.

    * How long does it take to complete the entire selection process from the day of application?
    The entire selection process will take about three to four months to complete. This process has been awarded the ISO 9002 certification since April 1996

    * Does it mean I will commence pilot training once I have passed the selection process?
    You will first need to go through Basic Military Training, perform consistently well during BMT and be selected for Officer Cadet Training.

    * Then why the need to be selected for OCS?
    This is because other than being trained as a pilot, you will also need to be trained to become a good leader and an exemplary member of society.

    * How long is the Airgrading Course?
    It is a two-month course and you will train in Tamworth, Australia. The following Training Road Map illustrates the stages of the Pilot Training Course. BMTTamworth AirgradingTri-Service TermAir Force Service TermPearce Basic Flying PhaseAdvanced Flying Phase 10 weeks2 months1 month2 months10 months11 months

    * What is available to me if I wish to pursue tertiary education?
    The University Cadet Pilot Training Scheme (UCPTS) is specially designed for qualified RSAF pilots.

    * How does the UCPTS work for me?
    The UCPTS allows you to disrupt your career for tertiary studies after becoming a Pilot with the RSAF. However, you must have already qualified for a place in either NUS or NTU. You will be given an annual book allowance while continuing to receive your pilot's pay throughout the duration of your studies. Furthermore, your tuition fees and other approved charges will be fully borne by the RSAF.

    * When exactly will I be able to disrupt my career for further studies under the UCPTS?
    You will be able to do so when you have obtained operational category B status as a pilot after graduating from the Pilot Training Course.

    * Are there any restrictions on the course of study that I will read in the varsity?
    Usually, you are allowed to read most courses other than Medicine, Architecture and Accountancy. However, if you have a Science background, you are encouraged to take up a Science or Engineering course in the university, as we prefer our operators to be techno-savvy.

    * Will I be allowed to read Law in the university?
    Yes. However, you will not be allowed to undertake the Bar examinations

    * Will I be required to serve a bond upon graduating from the university?
    Yes. The bond is eight years.

    * Will I be allowed to pursue tertiary education overseas under UCPTS?
    Yes, provided it is at an approved university.

    * Are the terms similar to local terms?
    The terms offered are based on local university charges. The candidate will absorb any cost that is in excess of local charges.

took 2-hr MAPAS Test on 28th Oct 2004
Some research:
http://www.mindef.gov.sg/cyberpioneer/backissues_jan04_02.htm

enlistees also sit for a series of computer-administered tests, known as Manpower Aptitude Assessment (MAPAS), conducted at the Vocational Assessment Centre (VAC). These tests assess a person's cognitive ability, or the mental ability to process information quickly and accurately. Some of these mental abilities measured include memory, speed of response, abstract reasoning, the ability to follow complex instructions, the ability to solve mathematical problems, and mental spatial ability.

The reason for these tests?
A psychologist in the Personnel Psychology Branch in the Applied Behavioral Sciences Department, Mr Chris De Roza (left), said the test results play a part in placing enlistees into vocations where their abilities can be best used, thereby allowing the SAF to optimise use of limited manpower resources. However, Mr De Roza was quick to dispel the idea that vocation was determined even before enlistment. "The enlistee's medical condition and physical abilities also matter. And a lot depends on his performance during BMT, for example, how he interacts with his peers, and how his commanders rate him. Performance in field tests is also a consideration for selection into leadership training schools." "Only by putting all these factors together with the aptitude test, can we then get a clearer picture of the type of person the enlistee is, and which vocation best suits him." Thus it is important to take MAPAS seriously. Advised Mr de Roza: "Like in other examinations, get a good night's sleep before the test. So you can do your best for the test and we can then profile your aptitude accurately. We can then match you with a job that suits your profile, and you will be more motivated at work, and perform better at it."

Continue reading PIONEER and visit CyberPIONEER at :
www.mindef.gov.sg/cyberpioneer!