Saturday, June 11, 2005

Inner thoughts...Ironic

Been thinking too much...thats what people always say. Is there such a thing? I have been spending a lot of time thinking about relationship... there I go...coz I am emotional, too emotional 10 times more emotional than anyone I know of. My baby can't even catch my thoughts sometimes. Many a times we have conflicts becoz of varoius issues...most of it trying to fix my uncontented heart...I get jealous easily, dreaming of romantic relationship, envy of loving couples and I am clinggy...in layman's words "I am a super glue". I don't deny that. Well, to me love is always selfish, I treasure it like a possession...thats where the word "posessive" derive from isnt it? I love someone I'll not hide, and I want my baby to treat me this way too... passionate. Shy? not in a relationship... "No self-esteem, no confidence "..these are some of the words I get when I get jealous... feel like an explosive pacel...

I am tired of getting into a new relationship, fear that things will get back to the same after the honeymoon period... to me there is no expiry to honeymoon...I can get on and on ... feeling "sweet" is my motivation (fuel) to go on... I am a nostagic person... afraid to risk, thats why things still goes on after I complain about this and that...sighz..."no character" right? coz I say that I hate "sorries" but all the time sorry comes from me...for being too emotional...
*slap me please*

I'm rather disappointed with some friends...whether its newbies or some that I've known for few years... Well, somehow feel cheated...

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