Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Great Pretender

Where should I start? If I start from the beginning will be a long story , perhaps can't finish within a day....

Well shall start with today then relate it to earlier dates if required. It isn't a bad day to begin with... had a rough plan to go shopping with Baby for some new clothes and shoes...then meet Slina, Cc and Kley to chillout for the night.. Baby had another alternative , to go DB with Ken too. Had breakfast-lunch-cum-dinner at Komala indian fastfood.

Baby bought a pair of jeans from SI. Bought a pair of sandals for me at BT
, replace the broken one, the 2nd time Baby bought me sandals and I dint pay.... mabbe this is why I am feeling "away" from her...its some supersition that I hearsay from some friends, that its is not good for close friends, relatives or love ones to buy shoes as gift...

Then we proceed to RCSC, Baby bought a pair of brown pants from ES, somehow I could get the sizes that I want, I keep looking around, hope that I can get something nice..too bad the sizes left are too huge.

Klly called to tell Baby that the chillout session is canselled coz she will be working till late. However, Baby seems dissappointed, she smsed for other chillout kakis, Dn replied and is going to meet Baby to DB... at that instant Baby's face crumpled like salted veg...in deep thoughts and lost concentration... I know what is in her mind... this frd of hers never fail to ask if I am with Baby or not... seems like she is repellent of me...something that has been mystery for ages..I WONDER WHY ! I don't bite, I am not carnivor I am open with many things and best of all I give good advices if she is in some relationship problems.

Sat down for a cuppa and I voice up to Baby that I knew whats in her mind, why not I go home with the bags of stuffs that she bought and she go meet her friends in town .. her face show some traces of guilt and soon turn into radiance..I know that she is happy but dint dare to show too obviously. I crossed my fingers, hope that she be more merciful on me, "please don't ask wat about me?" ... my answer is painful if it is to be from my mouth...I swallowed my pain and remain expressionless and walk towards the mrt station.... she went to draw some cash and head home...

After watching that 9pm drama, she informed me 3 times that she is meeting Dn. and went off. to DB...

stay awake till 5am ... pondering about the reason why Baby is so concern for an aquintance that take her for granted all these years, break promises all the time and only come ard when in need of a listening ear...(That person is Dn.) ..I do not have an answer.... just why Dn is making a mess with a simple relationship, a simple outing and simply mess with me...

I am having mixed feeling... angry that I am not "the reason" ...no jealousy coz Dn is a butch, but somehow this is weird too, a possessive butch...a nonsensical person that dont like me to be around with my gf...an outing that planned initially with my involvement and turned out that I have to go home "automatically" -- make way. I don't want to discuss it further with Baby anymore coz it will end up cold war and unhappiness...

sharing happy moments will make 2 happy..
but uhplasants things shall not be the same formula...
I take it.笑着流泪
as long as you are happy my dearest.
I do desire for miracle to happen ...giving will have harvest ...
Is that true?

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