Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Busy X'mas

entries not in order....

friday (22/12/06):
Dinner at überburger with babe and her c
olleagues. Before that we were exploring Millenia's carpark, looking for the best parking lot, sighz.... guess we're too ambious, followed this auntie whom only went to fetch something from her car, didn't even have the basic courteousy to at least letpeople know that she's not leaving yet. Anyway after the long parking lot hunt, finally decided on this lot, quite a distance from the exit huh....

Personally I'll not recommend this place: 1) browsing the menu is a big challenge, not only the way they present it in a folder that is extremely hard to open, they tried too hard to be innovative in their language... spent sometime decoding it (example: $101, is "1-oh-1 $"). Food wise it's definately not worth the price, BK burger taste better huh? Imagine after dinner we have to bear with the B.O of the waiter, to refill the water, to ask if we want anymore orders, to settle the bill... erm...we're all seated and when he serves, it's unavilable that he's to raise his arms --> the "aroma" oh man ! *faintz*


(to be continued...)

Friday, December 15, 2006

An Early X'mas Present

Went for a haircut at Holland V . I can feel the scissors poking my scalp *ouch*, please handle my head with care would you!!!
Wala! my new haircut looks like a pineapple head...

Next stop: shopping at Bugis.... Sunday shopping mall, expected to be crowded, especially X'mas is round the corner. Went to the toilet and it's closed for renovation, took the escalator to the 2nd floor @@ long queue, even the handicap cubical has a long queue...finally done with my business, meet Baby and Gwn at the Levi's shop. was ask to try on the slim cut jean... Baby paid for it and "that's your x'mas present ok?" that's fast.


Saturday, October 28, 2006

New chillout place

Went out with the Bintan gang after dinner.... quite an experience , pub hoping :) 1st to Red Dot Traffic, then 4 season hotel and long bar... didn't drink much coz of my bad tummy. Shared Hoegaarden beer with baby at red dots,

right after that we moved on to 4 seasons hotel ...order hot choc...yummy ...the rich creamy hot choc!! *drools* and we proceed to raffles hotel's long bar...

*blurp* full of water ... shared a drink with baby - cranberry juice. and had lots of peanuts... almost fall on the peanut shells all over the place.

Shall be back again ... craving for some beef (maybe beef horfun...)
*slurpz**

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Our 1st holiday

an extended weekend at the resort with 6 other friends.... tho'the venue is not new to me but its quite a different experience. Everyone look kinna grouchy when we meet at the terminal...room is ready when we reach the resort, not too bad huh...

Too bad they don't provide hot water or kettle, there goes our cup noodles. Had lunch at the resort cafe, the service is so bad - just because we don't had blond hair, blue eyes and speaks singlish... waited for almost an hour for the food. the waitress is so impatient with us when we told her that she place the beer for the wrong person - guess I am not the only one who heard her tsk* when she walks over to the other end of the table with the beer.

This goes on for the rest of our stay there... on the contrary, the trainee staff is much nicer to us... at least our 10% (service charge) pay for a smile when the trainee staff serves us...

went tanning and kayak.... oh...and also night walking to the thai restaurant at the other resort... kinna scary, coz there isn't any street lamps at all...

Nothing much to do at night, we played Pictionary and charade ... and gave iFen a surprise the 2nd night...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Sick with the "Sickos"

Feeling damn sick since last night, yet was struck by hypocrites who poses like your best friends , on the other hand wants to stand up like a heroine to speak up for the group... in layman term its call 2-headed-snake (2HS).

Down with flu, sore throat, fever and headache, backache and menses.... anything worse I would rather be in my grave .... I think more comfy huh?

practically everyone ask me to go home and rest coz I look very pale... I stayed till presentation is over and finally a break time, ought to start with the next group meeting for 1 last group assignment.

Guess what... nobody seems to be together for 1 moment.... there they go, "let's finish up so we don't have to come back tomorrow to do it.." (but where are the people huh??!! I want to go home leh!!!!!)

I can't take it, I feel the whole place spinning already, I need to rest, picked up my stuffs and appologise, lets meet over msn tonight or tmr I go to West side to meet up with you gals. the 2HS stood up and pat on my shoulder,"You better rest well, take care".... when I just reach the ground floor of the building, got this SMS from 2HS handphone no. but signed off as another person in the group:
"If you really can't wait to go I suggest you ask for an individual assessment from the lecturer, we are going to discuss the group assignment after lesson. J-O-E"

In a dilemma, and brain not working very well for a sick person like me, I went back and position my head on the desk to rest while the lecturer yada-yada... very sad ....*sighs* wanted to just reply,"fine thank you very much for your concern and sarcasm, I will ask for an individual assignment if you gals need tmr's off-site time to meet your boyfriends instead of meeting for assignment"

Another break time, I was so over my head that I confronted 2HS , showed her the SMS that she sent and ask if this SMS is from her or from J-O-E.... she suddenly turn into a saint again... I cannot take that face ...pretty babe with innocent tongue when she speaks, act blurr and funny....erm, I don't think it helps lor...

and she dare to question me back "what makes you think this SMS is from me?".... Bim or what huh? I didn't THINK SO... i am very sure its from you coz it's from your handphone! and her rest of them look at me weird when I went back to class "Why are you back? you go home and rest lah..."

Speechless....
THANKYOUVERYMUCH !
tired, too tired to be in the thriller to guess who is the 2HS

Friday, September 22, 2006

handphone-less day

" what a peaceful day...blah,blah, blah.."
- what I tell myself all day to console myself,

Feeling rather lost, contactless... Actually I've been worried about calls from my family, for interviews, from uni.. and when I feel like texting babe, guess what... my phone is with her -.-"

That is the consequence of my forgetfulness - left my handphone in babe's pouch the previous night and she brought it to work...

Got the phone in the evening, and surprise... gotta say my Baby is so extremely sweet...

I laughed throughout dinner....when she passed me the phone, not exactly about having the phone back, but the "new" picture in the gallery...

*ehems*

having problem with attaching the image here...anyway ... its babe's self-portraits @ work, making funny faces....
that tells alot about here day thou' .... (very bored), that's probably why she took that picture for self entertainment :P

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Enjoy communication

I am enjoying the communication with my love .. sharing personal thoughts of people around her, the bed-talking with her seems never-ending , time just passes so fast and I just didn't bear to close my eyes.

I can feel your distress and dilemma from her voice when she tell me about the family issue, yet I can do nothing to help.

I read her diary without permission while she's at work, I feel really guilty after that and I confessed. I find that she is emotional when it comes to the women in her life, could remember the entries of Char, Lee and reunion with old friends.. She is really a nostalgic and sentimental person... I have good feeling that we will grow old together.

The rainy morning cuddling in bed and stroking and watching my hair makes me want to be stuck in the moment, the taste of blessedness and contentment. I have never thought that I will be so fortunate to have someone driving me to school right to the doorstep, she makes me feel so pampered.

What have I missed? fate is playing trick on me or what? Now I feel like taking a ride in paradise, still in the shock.

Lesson has been boring , the whole class is dozing off, and again am I lucky or am I ... I have her 'company by exchanging text messages, keeping me awake. thought its some kind of telepathy that I was just about to text her that I am falling asleep ... there I got your message. The strong presentiment of missing each other seems to travel miles and connect us through the distance.

Satisfiied and sextisfied

About the little argument before dinner, I think it's my first tiff session that I feel justified, at least I won't get the feel of unfinished brush and walk-aways.

I know that she worries about my proneness to vent my frustration with blades, it has been something that I do for the past few years when I feel depress. I won't promise that it will not happen again but I will try my best find other ways that will not harm my body.

The short moment of displease also make me realise how sensitive I am to words that changed my emotions. (ie. "if you do it I will leave"). I am sorry baby... I didn't mean to spoil the evening. It's not that bad after all having to know each other better and compromise the differences.

Love making has been great and fresh . Especially the first time I experienced the Big O.. realised the desirable outcome of a sextifying love. I didn't realised that for the fact that I am clueless about the Big O...

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Le new Chapter of Love

It seems like a new chapter of my life has embarked. When my mind's a cloud and when my heart rains, I want someone near me… and there she is on the other end of the line accompanying me through the lonely nights. I feel so loved and sheltered.

How silly could I be to brush aside a nice soul like you, who have always been by my side all along – might not be physically, yet enough to sooth my heart? I'd have believed that it's simply a gesture of concern to a friend in need.

If my life is like the ever changing weather, then my sky is overcast as I look ahead at last and I push behind the past. She brings in the rainbow to my world; makes the day seem sunny with talks and jokes.

My day is fresh and new whether the sky is grey or blue she's here for me.

I overcome the past soul that haunts and hurts me, she (the past) who wouldn't play the game. But in her, I feel the longing, the one whose love was true, who wanted to feel the joys in life, like the joys I find in her.

What's that thing I feel?
Is it true? Is it real?
Is my heart again with feeling?
Can it beat again and feel? I feel once more?

My heart is fixed; now it beats once more.
No more crying and sorrow. No more insecurity.
I'm happy now coz' she've given me a new definition of what love should be like.

Been 4 days in a relationship she's all I think about, probsby that what we ca;; honeymoon period, whatever it is I just feel so in love. When she hold me in your arms , I feel my heart beating again with feeling. Then kissed the lips I longed for touched me.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

love again

I have tried ... struggle to let the past drift away. with support of the people around me... I am in love again . It is not easy for me to fix the insecurity and fear, but I think it is only fair to myself that I give myself a chance. If I don't open my heart , I can never move.
*Enlightened*

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds flyBeyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

-Over the Rainbow (Arlen-Harburg)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

"26/1/02" is an episode of my life

It's the end of the 4 years 5mths 2 days.
our relationship has ceased ...
guess letting her have what she desired
is the last thing I could do for her
I appreciated these times together &
for the happiness we've had when things still goes alright.

Its nice to have part of her in my life, in my memory.

differences in our orientation in life;
My life need not be surround with many friends
but to have someone who will love me, as I to her

I am human with feelings that need to be reciprocated,
not a person made of steel...

I hope that she will be happy in the way she is now...


Songs that I can related to right now...


你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚
你让我的骄傲觉得很无知
你让我的朋友关心我的生活
你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由
离开我你会不会好一点
离开你什么事都难一点

extracted from "离开我"

---------------------------

我把自己关起来只留下一个阳台
每当天黑推开窗我对着夜幕发呆
看着往事一幕一幕再次演出你我的爱
我把电视机打开
听着别人的对白也许那些故事可以给我一个交代
你要的爱(freedom)我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概

不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白

我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间慢慢漂白
把爱收进胸前左边口袋

最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪

我把收音机打开
听着别人的失败啃咽的声音
仿佛诉说着相同悲哀
你的依赖还在胸怀
我无法轻易推开
我无法随便走开感情中专心的人容易被伤害

extracted from "手放开"

Shattered

many truth surfaces today ...

  1. the things that was brought from KL she didnt really give.
  2. wanted to meet her for birthday , but was told that she will be busy
  3. went to her house.. she called me three times just to tell me to leave her house and confirm that I left
  4. L word which ( she don't like to watch when i beg her to watch with me)... she bought the whole set of the p version..
  5. the day when she say on the way to harbourfront is actually with AB, not at all to harbourfront but on the cab to meet someone
  6. she don't like soccer match, she said its a lame game, with 2 teams of man chasing a ball -- but she enjoy watching it with frds so much that she go off from work on the dot
  7. she brought me flowers tell me that we shall retain this relationship, and she walks away, leaving me lonely
  8. she doesn't take my call when she ask me to call her at night
  9. I don't understand her blog entries already because it seems so abstract. "naturale?"
  10. I fear that what goes around, comes around... will I be like "BBLurve"? be kept in the dark about a new relationship she is in , but out in on-hold mode for the bad news?

I am really shattered

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Revival of the Home Economics Session

Its always so fun to perform Le Chef in the kitchen , whipping up some dishes that can be found anywhere @ hawker centres.. Its just different, coz during the process of marketing, thinking of what to cook , cutting and the actual cooking, there is so much interactions and sharing great inspirations... I think this is the most truthful and sincere side of a person I get to see.. furthermore, the sense of satisfaction on the end product , simply make the food taste so much nicer then the commercial ones... and the dishes from le chef's kitchen are as follow:

25th June (Dinner)

  1. sour & spicy soup
    *carrot
    *apple (improvised)
    *onion
    *mushroom
  2. steamed rice
    *rice (improvised - boil in pot over the stove)
  3. bitter gourd with egg

26th June (Brekky/Lunch)

  1. Chee Chong Fun
    * steamed in saucer pan
  2. Popiah
    * eggs
    * shredded carrot
    * shredded turnip
    - No shredder, use the peeler to shred the carrot and turnip
    problem solving another acheivement huh.. *winks*
    * onion (improvised)
    * bread crumb (substitute for peanuts)
    *chee chong fun sauce (substitute for popiah sweet sauce)
  3. What's in the pot now?
    Bo Bo Cha Cha * yummy*
    * yam
    - ouch ! cutting the yam makes my hands itch.. *sobs*
    * sweet potato
    * sago
    * coconut milk
    * pandan leaves
    * rock sugar

That's a fun time in the kitchen after sorting out the notes and labelling the text for tmr's test.
yes, tmr is Child Dev test , not home economics alright...*bleahz*

Thursday, June 22, 2006

My Bazi (Birthdate/time) Reading

http://www.adestiny.com/bazi_report/sample

Personality and Character
Your life will be full of activity and exuberance and you like to try everything at least once. You are generous, talented, versatile and outgoing. You hate to be idle and it can create a malaise in your active soul. You are gregarious and love company and forever inviting friends to your place for meals and festivities. You will not afraid to try out things and adversity will bring the best out of you. You need an outlet for affection in order to bring stability.

A subtly conceited person, you care about your look and are quite particular wearing the right clothes for a function. As a resilient person you never allow trouble to cripple or affect you permanently because you can pick yourself up and start all over again.

You have a grandeur, strong and impressive appearance. You like status quo and always like to be admired and try to upkeep such image dearly. As a result of such premise, it is difficult for you to sustain such image. A determined and firm person you are also stubborn once you set your mind on something. You are quite prepared to take risks and can get jealous easily.

Romance and Compatibilities
You need an outlet for affection. Your tendency towards frankness and willingness to believe others make your lover take advantage of you.

You are most compatible to people of Horoscope
Leo (24 Jul - 23 Aug) / Sagittarius (23 Nov - 22 Dec)
and born in Year of
Snake / Ox

You are the aggressive rather than passive type and you will go after a man if you find him interesting. You will let the man know if you find him crude, outrageous or intolerable.

Profession
As you know how to do almost everything, it is difficult to make a right choice. You are considered multitalented and are good at any job if you can focus on the right one. You cannot sit still for a minute and are very versatile and nobody can doubt your ability.

You are not afraid to start in a low position and work hard to achieve your goal. Due to your determination and hard work it is very likely you will reach a high position, as you get older. Whatever fields you have chosen you are likely to end up in a front-man position in due course.

You are suited for working in the civil service and if you are in the private sector you will work in the management of an organization or in the field of creativity. Your ambition is high and you like to do big things

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Why did I cry when I ought to laugh?

not even a smile on my face, coz I don't feel that its sincere at all even if I hang a smile on my face.... She drop by my house to hand the things she bought for my sis, parents and some food for me ( a zippo lighter from the 2 friends - Burberry print) from KL... and show me the picture and video taken during the trip... they were having fun time , as seen in the videos... but I wanted to stop browsing ...coz I feel so envy.

She cannot stay .... she wanted to go home ...
coz she got to work tomorrow.. who doesn't have to work?

That's what is bothering me... can't you read my face, emotion and hints?

I am not giving any personal space to her...
I don't know why I just can't seems to make it.
Possessive? Unreasonable?

I fear my friends will juz get sick and tired of all these shit ...
I'm so sorry ...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Did the sky cry?

Didn't sleep well the previous night... wake up in the morning feeling dull, so reluctant to move. Sighz..life got to go on, moreover there's a test today better drag myself outta bed. After brushing up, it started to rain, the rain that I've been waiting for, the rain that makes me feel nostalgic. I was just telling myself to recollect my emotion and get going...somehow I relate it as the sky is tearing, not very logical though, just base on my intuition...

I wonder why ? I look at the umbrella... oh, so many of them, screaming and waving at me, I just stare blankly at them and Im just thinking "why are you here?" thought I can just have some excuse to be with the rain, my antidote for everything that's weighing me down - right there at my doorstep, yet seems so far - coz' I've got a lesson to attend... that's very cruel *sob*

Yes, I am really late, by the time I walk down the stairs , its already 9am... 30 mins to Cecil from where I am now? No way if I take the bus and transfer MRT... so I took a cab and its a bomb, 20 bucks ... that's the 2nd attack for the day.

Not so bad , I'm finally in class ... glad I'm still in control, would have just gone into screensaver mode , I survived until the test....thanks to Jynx and Jyc, one keep me company in class and the other over the phone..I am so blessed with this two kakis around.. *cheer me up*

When was the last time I smell the "exam air"? quite some time ago I guess... 2 hours and 15mins, I managed to scribble on 5 pieces of foolscap for total of 5 questions... *phew* what a relief when I stepped out of the classroom... praying hard that I do well...

I still miss the rain... when are you coming back to play with me?

Monday, June 19, 2006

Apart Or a Part ?

Got an sms from Bb from KL this morning... she told me that she dint sleep the whole night , weird ..but lets listen to what she say. T is in depression ...and dun want the holiday to end so soon... so Bb and AB stayed awake to accompany..well, that is what friends are for ...
(What about me? smsed her 2 times in the middle of the night , still waiting for her call that she promised that afternoon... thinking of reasons for her that batt is flat and worried that something happen to her)

... slept only 2 hours and went for lesson as usual in the morning...
She replied while I was in the train..."sorry.....dint manage to get coach...fully booked" ...(Monday ? how come u only get 1-way ? that's what comes to my mind...)

Afternoon, got another msg...
"can u help me to fetch me mum to L's house? luggage and Passport already at MC...extending my stay @ KL.. " (linkage to fully booked... - arranged? 2nd thing that comes to my mind)

Then comes the next msg .. " will see if there is flight back to sg..." I quickly reply..."3 person there = 3 air tickets... just becoz u missed the coach?? total cost ... I rather extend the hotel 1 night ...at least its divided by 3 person lor...+ 3 coach tickets . Total it will cost less than 3 air tickets" (having a tea break after a long day..brain dead, no thoughts.... isn't it just logical?)

Lect decided to end the class early ... only 3.45pm??? oh no... L said that she will be home only around 8pm.. and I dint bring Bb's hse keys... Took the train and loiter @ bugis junction until 6pm.. then called MC to inform them so that they can prepare the medicine for Bb's mum.. shocked! they said that they were not informed by the patient's daughter so I can't just get her out as and when I like... sighz... make Bb call them personally and make my way to MC... 6.30pm...chased out coz the gate is closing , nurses need to rest ... got no choice but wheel her to Mac to munch on something since I dint bring the hse keys...

Call Bb's hse to try my luck.. her dad is at home.. so I asked him not to go out I am coming to rest ... wheeled her from Mac to hse... not quite long , yet a tedious task.. she complain about the long wait ...getting impatient... Sorry aunty I have no idea we have to float around like this either...

reached her hse and she sat at the sofa to watch tv... 1 hr later Bb sms me say we can take a cab to L's hse already... followed as instructed... as we were about to reach the destination, I gave L a call, she said that they are not home yet "dint I say I will call u? nvm we will be home u hold on awhile.." sighz..

Mission accomplished... but I am so tired... in the cab ... as I was trying to nap, suddenly remember that I havent study for the class test !!!! its tmr ... but I am already so dead...

Apart or a Part? .... love me...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Let's try ...

A card that speaks my heart ....
expensive? yes, it is when I've hardly got enough for myself...
(and? I bought it - for someone special)

How about this...
Let's rewind to the time before our love story got so complicated.
Or better yet, we could just fast-forward past it.
Let's rewrite the script so that we take extra-special care with each other's heart and feelings.
Let's minimize the drama as much as possible and add in a few extra love senes just to make sure the relationship is headed for a happy ending -
where we're wrapped in deep embrace, whishering "I'm sorrys" and "I love yous" in between tender kisses and long looks of love....
I hate it when there's tension between us and we just seem to tune out or turn each other off...
Let's try to get over this.
Let's start replaying the part that really matter-
the love that brought us together in the first place

Dedicated to you, my baby.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Living a Hermit's life

Guess it will be a lengthy post... haven't been posting lately - busy? kind of .. more of denial... I just don't feel like reminding myself how I feel and think of what to do. Just follow instructions and get those concrete stuffs done (going for lect, assignments, planning for studies..etc) sounds really bored, yes it is ..doing this to numb my heart and brain... so that I can sleep at night without any wild imaginative thoughts.

Feeling lonely, I can explain why. Bb stayed over my place for the last 2 weeks except for the weekend and certain days that she have to go back for meetings. Her daily activities during her stay is basically very self occupied... chatting on mIRC, MSN , reading forum, watch tv, sleep, sms friends, talk on the phone with her friends.... so I just have to keep myself occupied with things as well... that is what I was told to do (by many people, including Bb)... I feel like singing: "Lonely, I am nobody~ on my own.."

Typing whatever that comes to my mind, all these events are not so much in order..indeed very messed up , just like me.

Remember I had curry fish head at BeautyWorld with my family (Bb didn't want to go, she stayed at home glued to her lappy...sighz. ) Its delicious..yummy and best of all it a family gathering. A very simple dinner but its extraordinary just dinning with my skinny Daddy, naggy Mummy and chatty Sister...one missing--> my lovely Bb :(

Started my ECE course .. got to know 2 very special people (J&J)... we click so well that I feel so lucky to have them at this point of my life... to pull me out of the pit ... we just talk and talk and talk.. anything under the sun, yes they are somehow my therapist, listening and yaking non-stop....

Class ended early (don't remember the date), aimlessly, just took the train and drop at Bugis, heard from Bb that she is meeting her new friends, so I called her to try my luck ig I could tag along with them , no harm knowing more people.. but I am too tired to move...so meet at CAN Cafe... the 2 friends (T and AB) : the gal (B) came in tshirt and shorts and cap. very chatty and bubbly ... I am scared, no faith with myself ..insecurity hits me hard, but I still socialize , I know how to behave, just chill.. and enjoy the food, ordered so much. They were talking about going KL together...and Bb said I can go shopping with T till we drop...okay was kind of wondering .."what about you and B?" but didn't ask lah .. divert the topic to shopping in KL, and getting excited yadah, yadah.... but all just a false hope, when we reach home, Bb prompted me not to go KL with them, she wanted to go for a gateaway with her friends only. how am I suppose to react? *blank*... then why include me when her friends are around? next day she confirmed with her friends and tell them that I am not free want to join for the trip, and ask if they have other friends who wants to join them.... I am crying in my heart.

--to be continued --

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

What should I do next ?

Early Childhood Studies or Psychology? Can I do both? How I am lost again...

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Turmoil of Life

Too many things happen in such a short while.. problems with relationship, financial, studies..etc.. Just waiting for the moment that my body breakdown. Finally on 29th May 2006 Monday... down with a high fever and asthma.. bad cough..everything that could have bring me to grave. I went to class and sat in for the 1st half of PP101, lect noticed that I'm pale like a sheet so she asked me to go home.. trying to balance myself , took a cab to the clinic, as usual long queue. sighz..poorer by $50. been almost 1 week and I'm still not getting any better.

Piles of notes and assignments awaiting for me... please get well soon! I can't tell the difference between taste of medicine and life...all bitter!

I will remain zombie until end of my course... too stress to think of anything else at this point.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

I have nothing against MAN ...

take it easy:

1 Men are like ........ Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......... Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..
4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ......... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ....... Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .......... Government Bonds ..... They take soooo oooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......... Popcorn . .... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like . Snowstorms ............... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

I am not an extreme feminist.. just a little... *ahemz* :

  • BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF
  • A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER
  • I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER
  • COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
    SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH
  • IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mommy's Day @ Chalet

Its quite fun to plan an event like this... we arrange Mum to go with Dad in his lorry so that we have time to shop for the ingredients :D... Took a cab with sis to whitesand NTUC ... push the trolley around the supermarket *opps* almost full load, wonder how much it cost... B reach Whitesand too... then we proceed to buying a mother's day cake, but the ones at BS and polar seems too boring ...sighz... let's' get a swensen's ice-cream cake...

took a Merc cab to Aloha... Wow!!! its really big... feel like sing Yanzi's song "wo you yi suo da fang zi....." hehehe.. but its not mine lah, just day dreaming.... better get going before mommy comes... will be prepare the food and start the fire at the barbecue pit , while busy with these also call up mum and dad to ask silly questions just to find out where they are located .... *tired... excited....*

Finally got everything done... Mum and Dad came just in time ...cleared the mess and they enjoy their shower and tv session ...

Went swimming and to the jacuzzi pool... OMG the jacuzzi pool is so ewwwwwk!!! sighz.... wonder if my dad want to join us ...I went back to the chalet and he's already out at the pit barbecuing... I helped up too... just in case they left any food in the fridge...

there goes the evening ... finally the cake is out....
Oh no its really frozen... having hard time cutting the cake , its too hard...
After Mum & Dad left the chalet we play with dry ice ... watch tv and walk to the beach.... sighz the big chalet is so bored... and the beach is not windy ... zZzZ~

Thursday, May 11, 2006

11th May 2006(Cont'd)

took a nap , feeling my whole body aching ...
been keeping myself busy the entire morning dishing up a nice fried beehoon (my style) and cleaning up the kitchen... I am tired , sleepy and numbed by pain and questions that keep echoing in my mind... the words that she said , sounded so fresh in my mind...

I think I smell like so oily ..took a shower after that wake her up for breakfast...

decided to draw a smiley face with myonaise and chilli sauce... I always like to do these extra to make happy food... I am not hungry , only took a sip of milo and retired in my sister's room.. can't take the direct sun in my room , makes me feel frustrated and headache...

She checked her email... received a troublesome bomb ...anyway she knows that this peson deserved the punishment and is not going to give way even pleaded.. will call me to update me when she meet up with the email-sender..
Everyone need to learn a lesson... the most effective way is to fall...
any successful person would have fall before thaey make it big.. no exception

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Evening:

Meet a couple, been chatting with them on msn for quite sometime... they ask if I would want to meet them in town... Had dinner, Kbox and chat awhile at swensens' .. very loving couple, they will tease each other and create jokes ... they filled the evening with laughter in the air.
Share with me the story how the meet each other and talk about dogs, they are dog lovers too *smiles* .

Initially I thought I will be a big lightbulb there , instead they make me feel very at ease and the fear turn into admiration for this couple... maybe at this moment any couple that passby will make me feel this way ...

My hands are so cold, as cold as my heart... so lonely, so confused... so unloved.

Subconsciously thinking, but its so blurr what am I thinking about... something that was mentioned to me earlier (today/Yesterday)..haven't sleep so today and yesterday seems to merged as 1. .. thinking about the thing that friends and love one said about me .... knowing myself better , I should take that positively right? but why is it so hard to swallow? -- I am seen as a person that doesn't know what I want to do in life, and doesn't stay long in something that I decide to do , flicked minded? -- that is what I was told last night by her, when we talked.. she quoted F and Jz... and she agreed to it..

But I am a long-runner in relationship... (no more but...sighz, better stop giving excuses..)

I cannot seems to take it very well, blaming myself will not help, but right now I just want to do it for awhile.... this is what loser like to do ... escape for awhile... not very long , but I don't know how long I'll take ... I will be a better person when I get over it ... chewing on it before I can swallow... getting long-winded...

Movie :: Poisedon :: @ PS

Haven't sleep , lets do some blogging ...

Shopped for awhile got myself a handphone accessory , a very girlie one with purple feather and pearls..and a stripe that can add scent to it... Meet at LJS for dinner ...

Its combination of Armageddon and Tittanic... romance of young couple that is objected by the girl's father but the father sacrifies himself in the end. Tittanic with a boy that reminds me of Haley Joel Osment in Artificial Intelligence: AI .. its not the same person ...

Stay over at Yishun...
Thanks for accompanying me again...
I am really afraid of going home myself, its the lonely journey that freaks me..

The bed talk did not turn out good at all... maybe that is what you say..
We think at different lights..
From all and all I realised that some friends are just to nasty to me..
anyway they just don't know me well enough, althought we have known for 5yrs
F & Jz ... think about it sighz... well, thank them for the hard time that they have to smile and pretend that they didn't said this behind my back.

I come out with an idea about hiring a once-a-week p/t domestic helper for her house. Maybe will ease frustrations... but she will be dependent...
She say if one day she become INdependent then we pach, I will make her feel that I am not very sincere in this relationship... I have to take some time to digest this , a point for me to reflect about..

Second point, "She will not be her" if she change...

Or should it be we both calm down and think how I can lower down my expectation and she can improve abit ... to make our differences meet... Really takes time to do that... coz' this talk is fruitless ... Only realised that I make a mistake to initiate a dialogue like this in the middle of the night... 3 days' really too short a time ...

I must find a way to stop myself from thinking about ciggrettes...
its really a tedious task for me.. I am an Addict ..I must admit .

Endless until 5am , and I recall my happy times.. the period when we just started dating...
I asked her for her hands and hold it, bring towards me and kisses it.. "do you remember this"..
she did the same and say yes... I cried as she hold my hands close to her heart... cried really hard... I missed it alot ...really missed it

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Fridae Movie Preview ::Voice::

Actually nothing about the movie coz we give it a miss since we are 45mins late. Rainning heavily and stucked in the massive jam... The cab driver tried to use alternative routes but its still not very much help... Curse and swear as he drove as if he is on the racing ground... mind you, MY LIFE is at risk! twice he almost take my life.... when I reached my destination , he gave me a good lecture and blamed at me for giving him a $50-note. he shouted at me that I should tell him that I have $50-note... and he ask me to go and change into small notes from the cafe at the end of the building... Ehemz* I pay for your "service" ?? *hurhurhur...

Decided not to go up for the preview, went to Mac for a drink and finish up the burger that we intended to bring into the theatre...Meet LW and chat for awhile at Mac Cafe.. talk about KL and jobs...

Brought us to Lucky Plz 4th floor Indo Rest...Closed...walked further down to Paragon ThaiXpress... Very late dinner... Chicken Wing, Thai Curry Chicken Noodle, Seafood Tom Yam Soup... Something new about the way they named their noodles in the menu... having a hard time explaining it to the thai waitress, mee-sua, stick noodles? or glass noodles?

Home sweet home ... stayed over at Yishun with me ...
Thanks for sending me home...
I missed THAT alot...

Monday, May 8, 2006

Heartache...I AM CRUEL!!

I hate myself!!!
I am so cruel...
Why would I want to do this to her?
I am in pain !! very painful..
breathless and blank...
Dazed* in a state of confusion
Love...sorry..

Sunday, May 7, 2006

4Years , 3Mths , 1Week & 5Days



Its is not easy being the one to initiate a bad news like this.

This is where we take a break... a reccess ..we both should stay out of relationship for a period of time to have a clear mind what do we want from a relationship and also what we can give to a relationship.

Things has become really none other way to speak, maybe with the way we communicate, or maybe of some other reason that we do not realised. Perhaps we can see more clearly at another perspective.

The relationship will slowly lost its meaning if it is going to be stagnant, and accumulates mistakes that we don't take actions to solve. I am really still in love with Bb, if we can think about how we can deal with the differences and come with some muture agreements.. this relationship will be more fruitful.

I do not deny that humans have faults, I am not a perfect being too, I am sorry if I have not being perfect sometimes, I agree that I am unable to give her the kind of freedom that you desired, she feel tighted down by me intruding her life, I cannot help help it , I do not know when she wants me in her life and when she doesn't. It become very taxing for both of us when one party wanted (and the other doesn't agree) privacy , have space and freedom ...I am feeling insecured.

When two person is in a relationship, there must be transparency --Trust...trust is not something that you can ask from anyone, you got to earn it slowly. Yes, I know Bb might be at this moment thinking that I have broken the circle of trust once , I learnt the lesson and repent. Bb have said to me that she forgive but will not forget, I shall not request much from her at that point since I was the one that make the mistake. Since then I feel a sense of guilt in me that I owe her much more than an apology. I will have flashbacks from time to time when we quarrel, and makes be feel debted to her, especially so when I have to point out things that I want her to change about yourself. I restrain myself from insisting my point after awhile and try to accommodate to it slowly, because I think I still owe it to her. I do not know how far will this go.

* Smell and smoke from my ciggrettes

* Keep bugging you to be fast and reacting instantly

* Asking you to learn to get your hands on house chores and cooking

* Attention seeking

I do not wish for the day that you unknowingly wanted to celebrate Mother's Day rather than Valentine's Day with me... This sounds freaky but can't helped the thought of it... I am taking care of you like a Mother ..

I do appreciate and love you... but a little bit more to grow will make our relationship, not only long lasting like what friends might see guaging from the years that we have gone through. I want to walk through a quality time with you , not just how long we have been together that makes people admire.

We have gone through so much and so far, I do not wish to end this relationship because of things that can be solve with some effort of each of us giving a little attention to it.

Neither would I want to be walking into a blind-folded relationship that both of us just keep denying and running away from our problems.

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Which baby are you?

---------------JANUARY BABY--------------------
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom showsemotions. Takes time torecover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever.Changing personality.Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble.Honest and loyal.Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Lovesaggressiveness.Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not showit. Dislikes unnecessarythings. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious. Realizing dreamsand hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the insidenot outside. Superstitiousand ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive.Naturally honest, generous andsympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser.Easily angered. Trustworthy.Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottleup feelings. Observant andassesses others.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calmand cool. Kind andsympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others.Very confident. Sensitive.Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever andknowledgeable. Loves to look for information.Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneselfand others. Understanding. Funto be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girlcrazy. Loves sports, music, leisure andtraveling. Systematic. hott but has brains.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharpthoughts. Easily angered. Attracts othersand loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. FirmStandpoint. Needs no motivation. Shytowards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves todream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weakbreathing. Loves literature and thearts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having manychildren. Hardworking. High spirited.

------------JUNE BABY -------------
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around.You love to make new friends and beoutgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a veryattractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also morethan likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a greatchoice in films, and may one day become afamous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quietunless excited or tensed. Takes pride inoneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people'sfeelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty andsparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful.Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.Guides others physically and mentally.Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats othersequally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary andsharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties instudying. Loves to be alone. Always broods aboutthe past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends.Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved.Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control.kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous.VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing'speachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIGimagination. loves to be loved. hates studying.in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld orrestricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" toeveryone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed.a fighter.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive andaffectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Lovesattention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring.Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love.Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory.Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at thecenter. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn'tpretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless.Always making friends. Easily hurt but recoverseasily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions.Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely thehottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meetthe love of your life for 10 years.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knowshow to have fun. Sexy and mysterious.Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independentpersonality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotionaland temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in agroup. Fearless and independent. Can holdtheir own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, thegreatest men are born in this month. If you ever begina relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because theirone of a kind.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... betterthan all of these other months! Loyal and generous.Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions.Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations.Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far withvision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced bykindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Activemind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and alwayswants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Gooddebating skills. Has that someone always on his/hermind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person.Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldomshows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

Monday, May 1, 2006

Long Weekend @ KL

28th April (Friday)


Morning - 1st Class Coach
waiting for the coach to arrive at the passenger lounge ... so exciting I'm going for a holiday...Yeah!!! but abit sleepy though, not used to waking up so early.

The coach doesn't have a toilet ... dint know how to operate the "entertainment media" press the red button for assistance, in return I get a bochup attitude , pretend not to see me and the 2nd time the steward roll his eyes at me.... I'm really aggitated .. I ask Bb for the envelope by the agency ... called them but the line is busy ...arghz!

Finally the media works.. after the M'sia custom.. and the steward came to explain ... Yes, he saved his own butt... havent tried the taste of the complain queen..

Afternoon - Checking in Hotel
I made reservation before arriving KL, how can they treat it as a new customer? I make special request that I want bath tub , high level and double bed... everything not there... give me the excuse that its full.... @#$%^&*

Went to have lunch at Hotmama... I'm amused by different culture...hahaha... I can smoke in a restuarant??? so sua-ku right .... I even took picture of myself hahaha... After lunching , meet Fen at Time Square ... took 2 rides and I surrender.... 1st ride the super fast merry-go-round... faints... and the 2nd one , around the clock spinning and hanging up in mid air .... I shiver, only close my eyes and try to scream, but no sound.. Am I going to faint? Feel so insecured up there... Ahhhhhhh~ Sorry , I can't take the roller coaster...

Took the monorail to chinatown.... the monorail ... small ... I start to appreciate our MRT after that ride... imagine not a chance to fall coz its really packed..

the sky is turning dark... really crowded there and its raining ...... browse the first round to survey the price, dint really get anything... bargain like mad sighz.. too bad we can speak a word of malay or cantonese... but i can understand simple cantonese..so its like chicken and duck bargaining .. the last buy was really bad... I was being shouted and chased by the sales person right up to the end of the lane... sighz... I bought a watch at RM100.

Dinner at S&M food court .... ordered western food, only stall there still open ... my over cooked black pepper steak tasted like rubber... dint eat much ... just finish up a can of coke and some fries.

29th April (Saturday)

Shop around BB plaza, LY, Lot10 .... bought flash drive, handphone cover and earpiece... Shoes... happy shopping for sandals and bags... Isetan sales is so tempting... sobz converse shoes doesnt have my size...why?! I'm going to try KLCC .. *hmmmf*

Dinner at KFC , then bargain again at the pasar malam...

30th April (Sunday)

Legs give up already ... went to KLCC... opps forgot about lunch... gastric pain... the 1st time I experience the pain ... OMG, its so unbearable... but I am still as particular about CS as ever... the waitress I snook her for telling us that section with cushion seats is closed , and the next minute I saw her leading a couple to the "closed" section ... arghz... I ask another waiteress.."is that section closed? she hesitate a "yes..but if you want a table there is possible..."

Isetan again ... the rest are too high end... Well, I wonder why I sign the M'sia Isetan membership... as if I will go often... After bah kut teh dinner ... we are back to the hotel... stuck outside our room AGAIN! why cant they just be nicer to me? I've to go down to update my access card everytime I return to the hotel??? with my tired feet.... sobz..

Foot massage... oooooH its a relieve....not as good as the one at JB coz only can massage 30 min , by the time we reach the massage parlor is already 1.30am... they close at 2am....

1 May (Monday)

Early bfast , shower and zzzzz on the coach ....
Home sweet home...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Walking in the Rain

Have you ever walked in a heavy rain... Its simply spandid...

the pressure of the rain hits on the body to flush away the load... completely washed out and clear your mind from other distractions and troubles... even better if the visibility is really bad... you can hardly see your own 10 fingers infront of you... The sound of the gushing rain mutes everything around you, so you can shout out your grumbles whatever you want to ease the tension and stress. after all everyone looks like Sadako in the rain... nobody recognises you ...

Too bad, as we grow up we have too many concerns to enjoy the rain... Typically, what if my bag / handphone / clothes get wet? What if the lightning strikes on me? What if I fall sick, what about work? yada-yada... the list goes on and on...

Remember the good old days when I used to walk to and fro school along khatib camp.. love it when it rain, heavier the better... me and fen will walk in the rain without umbrella
(yes, we have it, but who cares to use it, dun waste my time ..hahaha!) Don't care even if our uniform is white color, who cares... (yes I missed that nonchalant- attitude)

Rain is one good remedy to cool of frustration, better than liang-teh... cooling effect is immediate, provided not to fall sick the next day...

I watched the youngsters these days , can't wait to flaunt their branded unbrellas to their friends, hmmm... different, so different...

Why didnt it rain heavily these days? or perhaps I'm in a public transport, office, at home or somewhere that doesn't gives me an excuse to walk in the rain...

I want to be in the rain again... dancing in the rain ... wash away my mind.... a chilling "system re-format"...

Talking about rain reminds me of the song by Madonna ~ Rain

I feel it...It's coming...Rain
Feel it on my finger tips, hear it on my window pane
Your love's coming down like
Rain

What about Love?

I've almost forgotten what I was before I know about being in a relationship with someone... cheerful, frenzy and easy-going gal? maybe... nothing stops me from anything ... I worry only for my family... trying to recall... the nightmare about parents quarrelling in the middle of the night... crying in my room , praying that they will stop... having shocks when I hear screeching breaking sound from the road (my dad is really moronic on the road).. I still do get this uneasy feeling from time to time... I treasure my family... Procting my sis... remembers the time when mum took her bamboo cane and wack at my sis, I'll shelter her... I'm famous for being a "zebra" (cane marks)...

During my sec school days, I was all about studies and band... look nerdy and geeky with big plastic specs.. kind of bored . my life revolved around the school, band room, my room and northpoint..

I remember the 1st time someone holds my hand, I blushed , goosebumps surfaces and I feel my heart in my throat... Now I know that its not only the 1st time I will have this feeling... its so sweet to see couples holding hands... its not anything intimate but its a gesture of love and belonging... not to mention kissing and hugging... simply makes melts my heart.

I recon that I am someone that is willing to sacrifies for someone I love ... I put in 100% effort to make sure that my partner is happy .. even though it might be very foolish to others.. my expectation is kinna high in terms of emotional needs... never enough of TLC .. till the relationship walks into a monotone, romance dissapears totally .. I'll still be in the mood for love.. WAKE UP, you are not in fairtale or romance novel.. I am still trying to figure out how to balance. I am a sucker in love.

Lets talk about xeS... is that an issue in a relationship? Yes when the relationship just started, both are flaming with passion.. you'll even have enough of it.. but when one or both parties got pre-occupied by other things in life , they denied that its an issue at all... Have never talked about it to friends about private issue like this to friends coz' m afraid it will sound offensive. To me I feel not attractive anymore when I get rejected... get angry at times , but I try to control my foul mood... Find alternative to fulfill myself, but its not the same ... it lacks the passion, action and pleasure ...

In summary, I've been extremely selfless when I am in a relationship... Now I want to know myself.. its completely ironic... I've loss balance... I know if I continue to be like this I will fall and hurt badly... "love changes everything...."... yes it does, for the better or worse... I wonder*

What am I suppose to do ?

When did I started being violent to myself? self-abuser (can't stop blaming myself for not being able to make my partner happy).... I hate myself!!!
feel heart broken or feeling depressed? can't breath and lonely?

I am afraid that people will get sick and tired of my sukiness... guess I'm born a worrier... thinking too much of consequences to others ..

What about Love? I thought I am good listener to those who are in bad relationship, gives good advise to friends... come to realised that I don't know what is Love when I comes to myself.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Dialogue on Death

Lonely afternoon in town, having rose buds tea and watching admiring the people that passby the cafe... most of the people seems rushing aimlessly. Why are we always racing against time? work hard so that we earn money to fulfill the material needs? does anyone ever get enough at all? ... in a daze..

The ladies at the next table were chatting about suide and discussing what is the painless way to die... some say die inhaling carbon monoxide , pills and jumping down from a building... yada-yada... and they were laughing over it... Why would they even laugh about it? painless way? or isit selfish to say that its painless? what about the people that loves you? the pain that death brings upon them ? bunch of boliaoz tai-taiz...

Then they talk about the passe celebraties' death - leslie chung and anita mui... can't even get the fact right... sighz... can they just stop boasting about the twisted facts that they gathered from someone else? its kinna noise pollutant in a fine afternoon...

Monday, March 27, 2006

You're a Romantic Realist

When it comes to relationships, you're looking for a fairy tale — or something pretty close to it. While you don't really expect to be whisked away by a prince on a white horse, you probably like the idea of being rescued — as long as you're allowed to rescue back. You expect great things out of people, especially those you love, and you don't mind putting in the extra effort to make sure everyone (including yourself) is happy.

Tradition is usually important to you, as long as it's mixed with your own personality. Sure, flowers and candy are great, but when it comes to showing affection, you simply want something that is unique and special to your relationship. For you, it's always the thought that counts.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Banddies Gathering

After 2 weeks of coordinating work, finally comes that day for the gathering. Meet at the MRT station , Fen , Jenn and Silie is already there waiting. Silie can't recall who I am.. thats nothing new, I was so quiet back in school days. Fen, Jenn and me tried to call those of them that are supposed to meet at the MRT.

Called GuiChai up to pick us to his restaurant, Ivan's there somewhere in the carpark too waiting for GC to guide the way. We arrived at the restaurant, Jiahui and Janis' already there. Still the same chatty gals as they were in band. Expecting more people to arrive.

Couldn't decide what to eat , the boss decide for us and we had a feast: Sharkfin , brocolli and scallop, chilli crab, fish with sweet and sour sauce, cereal fried prawn, dry-fried hor fun with XO sauce, special tofu and last the dessert (longgan).
Its $300+ for two tables...

Pris and Geraldine came.. was having hard time getting their responses, glad that they came anyway. Shirong after them, YanYan and then Jinwei... thought Esther might have come with her , nope. YongX rush down after his work. Then Robert with his gf Ailian.

Dinner was fine and we had a photo session before some of them have to leave for home and other appointment.

Post dinner activity, spent some time thinking of where to go and finally booked a room at Cineleisure Kbox for 13 pple. large room of coz.. sang from 11.30pm to 3am +
In the course of picking songs, we realise that there's some generation gap huh? are we old?

We split into 2 cars, some in Ivan's car and some go with GC's car. Home sweet home..

Its kinna rewarding that everyone enjoyed the gathering.

While waiting for my hair to dry, I sat down to write a thank you email to all that have make this gathering a successful one.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Random Summary

Can't remember the sequence of things that happen recently..
I'll blog whatever that comes to my mind.

I am back home, ya missed my family, dogs, room and bed...
everything seems more relax at home, and of coz' mum's cooking..yummy.
Bb missed her workshop the next day coz the be is too comfy that she over-slept.

Went to JB with Bb on friday afternoon, was quite a smooth journey in and out.
Got some movies and the windows applications that I've been hunting for.
after that we go for a leg massage near the place we plan to have dinner later. A 1 hour massage makes me doze off, so relax, but after the the masssage my feet keep slipping off the sandals, so difficult to walk, shouls have clean off the massaging cream sighz...

Feasting time! went to our usual dinner place, ordered chu chang fen, butter clayfish, fried mee-sua and a pot of herbal chicken soup and sugarcane drink.
*burp!*

Wanted to get some toiletteries for mum but didn't manage to find any super market, better rush before the peak-hour crowd at the custom.

Received a few SMSes while queueing up at the custom... Arlene's Bdae bash and long-time-no-see Kor.. ready to go for Arlene's Bdae, but the queue is too long and over crowding, free admission is cancelled so called Kor to fetch us, went to club95 and surprisingly its fullhouse.. when did this place become so popular?

See some familiar faces there, some pleasant and some unpleasant, gosh ! have the whole L community swarm into this little pub? Bb ordered something new by the bartender, rose tequila, its balies and strawberry (Hmm, taste like magnolia's strawberry milk). I was'nt very adventurous though, stick on to Shirley temper (Fruit punch).

Kor and friend find the place quite bored, we talk about L hangout pubs, Bb list out some, most of the L pubs has become more like a winebar and karaoke pub, no dance floor to move about. The last one that closed down was the lengendary Monks...there after bye to dancing queens..

Drove around Neil rd as instructed by jacky to fond skybar, drove along the road twice no luck~ can't find the place, until we give up searching and DUH! Bb and me saw it ! too bad, we already plan no to go.

We went to have supper at Chinatown, share a bowl of porridge with Bb...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Love is not one-sided














Esplanade Photo Shoot

Bought the camera at the IT show, Bb decided to try out the night mode... Lets go to marina bay front... We leave the house about 5 or 6 pm...can't remember... had our sumptious dinner at Lau Pat Sat.... Grill sting Ray, fried la-la, mushroom minced meat noodle, kuay-zup(?), manago ice-kachang with ice-cream for dessert... *blurp!!* really full.

The sky is turning dark, so we walk our way to the esplanade, Bb walk so fast I can't even catch up, especially with this pair of sandals that keep twitching to one side, was thinking one day I might just sprain my ankle and fall flat on the floor... it was kinna quite as we walk, other then asking me which way to walk... my hands feels cold, why aint you holding my hands anymore? God are you mocking at me? couples after couples walked pass.. I watch them with admiration, envy... and misery... *sob*

took quite a few shoots at the merlion park and esplanade, our face seems quite expressionless tho'

Catch a movie at Marina square GV..-"Shaggy Dog"... nice comedy ...had a good laugh the busy lawyer somehow reminds me of Bb.. that dint know about whats going on with the family... Admire the wife that hangs on to him... but will I get the same ending? will Bb realised it , like the "father/husband"?

After the movie, no plans again.. walk a long way to find a place to eat... chijmes is all wine bars and pubs... beautiful plac I've always love this place.... besides that noise from pubs...

Finally settled down at Kopitiam for chicken mushroom.... and 3 cups of fruit juice.... thristy~
finish up the food, I knw Bb wanted a merc Cab... so we sat at the out-door table to take pictures until we get a merc cab... happy is the word that is witten across her fore-head...

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Gathering with Babe..

Can't remember when was the last time I met out with Kren.. Since we graduated from shri? hmm... guess its almost a year.. got a ride from PK..meet at Bugis MOS burger. Talked about her job, seems like the probation period is a drag for her, glad that its over. I am always amazed by this profession, having to fly around the world as you work, isn't it great?

Besides the fact that I am happy to meet up with her , chat about our life.. Deep inside I feel rather depressed.. feel like I am a useless bum, at least for the ime being that I am jobless, aimless... oh well, it scarry being lost and out of control ready.

Sometimes I think my entire life is filled with emptiness... Not that I don't have a dream , but things just down fall in place with my plans... I wonder why am I so "suay". Just take for example Bb, I applied for the job for her as soon as she cleared her last module in uni.. she when for the interview, walah~ she got it... Kren when for the interview for her current job and yeah she got in.. I am *sighz* .... feeling really down.

Besides that, something to perk up my day, I've finally collected my ring that Bb ordered for me... either its not the size that we requested for or my finger shrunk over the 1 month. It slightly loose.

No plans after the gathering is over, Bb came to fetch me for dinner, have no idea what to eat (as usual) so we stopped at a coffeeshop to have fried rice. After that meet YG to a pub in Amara Htl. Its a culture shock, not the crowd but YG's friends...erm, I wonder how YG got to know these middle-age establish-looking ladies.. wow! the live band is kinna fun-loving, Bb dedicated the song "love,me" with a special msg... so sweet :)

Monday, March 6, 2006

I need you...do Cherish me

Wasn't a fantastic day... I have been thinking am I (and my gf) victim of DBL? Lets hope its not then....

Seems like we have different piority in life. Relationship (Love) make up my life (up to 80%) I should say...but to her it is only part of hers... staying together without communication is a No.1 killer.. wanting to climb up the corporate laddle fast is her goal... aiming at perfection in work is her principle.

Totally exhausted all her energy when all these are met.. Unable to fulfil me emotionally, coz' by then she is mentally and physically tired.

I Understand...I compromise...

How far can we bring this relationship Bb? I know you are planning ahead for our future ..

BUT...
I need you on the way to our future... don't make me feel lost...

I am scared...lonely...

Friday, March 3, 2006

Sad song ..

"The One You Love" (by Glenn Frey) :

I know you need a friend Someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love
There's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
I heard you on the phone
You took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy
The guy who left you cryin'
Isn't the the one who made you blue
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you've gotta make up your mind

Chorus :
Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you going back to the one you love
Someone's gonna cry when they learn they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above
What you gonna say when he comes over
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams
All the disappointments
Oh girl -- What you gonna do
Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you've gotta make up your mind

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

regrets

"Never regret" comes easy in life... how many times have "never regret" hurt us? (countless). But its only that makes our life complete, different and unique. Every one dream of becoming someone...to accomplish something ... Life will be a regret if you have not fulfil your dream. Giving up is the shortcut to failure, well.. there's no easy way to success I guess.

*I will, I can , I must*

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Love-I-Wish

what I wish for in a relationship:

* someone equally strong & mature
* personality compliments mine
* with positive energy & outlook of life,
* who shares the similar (but not identical) priorities
* who never fails to amaze me
* who makes me look up to without feeling small nor stupid
* who is sensitive
* who is Romentic
* who trust me
* someone whom I can trust
* who communicates & expresses herself
* who is up for planning & details
* someone with patience
* someone to lean against for support in times when I'm drained or down
* someone whom I feel proud of
* who is willing to accept me for who I am
* someone whom I can talk to & crap with

I AM REALLY NOT WISHING FOR A SAINT ....

I Love you Bb
*winkz*

Friends In Need...

It just happened that when I logged into my fridae profile "someone" is also online and is on the ::random profile:: ... A liar indeed, I remember the last time she stay over at my house for a comforting moment after a big quarrel with her girlfriend. She asked me to logged into fridae to checkout her girlfriend's profile coz' she doesn't have an account... well, its so shocked to see with my own eyes today "femmpl....Member Since: 19 October 2003" ...

Some flash back about this person that I've known for 4 years and come to me only after quarrel with girlfriends... to her I'm just a 24-hour SOS helpline... broke up with her ex couple of months ago and she vanished into the air... no news of her and one fine day I got a "stranger" approached me on IRC, asking for a brief intro of myself and the "stranger" strewed me up with colourful languages, and logged off... a coward huh? Yes.... this not the end, this person's IP address , username is clearly display as I clicked on "whois" .... it's the friend that vanished for some time...

Back to fridae profile.... I can't helped but to drop "this person" a sacastic mail at her profile" -- quite a crude one.. maybe with some points that she should reflect upon her selfishness. Well, I'm not as generous as my Bb when it comes to giving people "benefit-of-the-doubt" ... when it comes to sincerity in friendship.. some friends are worth keeping for life, and some are simply making use of you... It tells thru' time.. need not be sticky all day long to be friend.

I've come to realise who are people who honestly deserve to be called my friends. And I'm grateful for the comfort and company of my true friends... who've listened to my gripes about my life patiently, offered listening ear and over msn and sms as well.I understand it's hard to be a trusted friend to somebody else.

For everyone who I come across as a potential friend, I've always given my all to them to help them tide through the rough patch. I've also realised that many a time, I'm but just a "habour" in their life, and they are the vessels. I am one of many stops in their journey of life and after a while, they move on, leaving me behind, ocassionally returning to say hi when they `remember'.
But I've never been dismayed with this fact.

To me, one of my main goals of life is to be the most useful habour I can be... So long as I make a difference, no matter how long/short this period of time can be. with this thought in mind, I consistently give all I have to whoever pops into my life.. I am really happy just making a difference, being the Aunt Agony, or temporary company, and help them get over the rough times.

But when I am down, I reach out for help, only to see not many reciprocate what I've given. should I be upset?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Gal's Chat (Updated)

Went to scout for Camera at SL with C&L.... Cc and me settled down at Ice M waiting for Kel and Bb...we shared a Mango Combo and started some gal's chat..

Cc asked if I had any bf before knowing Bb... Yes, but I guess I'm rather queer , not discovered until I got to know some queer buddy... and I totally lost trust in the word LOVE after several attempt to build the "perfect" relationship...

Cc made a casual comment: "Wah u and Bb's been together for4 years ... Bb was very nice to you huh? But how do you measure nice?", this makes me ponder about the measurement of "nice".I thought about it, the 1st response was to describe it in materialistic terms: hmmm... she bought me bears, bought me shoes, clothes, rings, accessories, supp-ed me her credit card, pay for my mobile phone and suscription...etc...As we talked more, we realise it is a tendency to measure "nice" in monetary terms, Cc went "wahh....she's so nice to you...."Then, we both paused and looked at each other, and the sub-conscious attempt to re-evaluate nice in other non-monetary ways...

These were our attempts *let's try*:
Bb spent a lot of time with me (we stay under one roof...doesn't it count?)...
Bb is very patient with me (....?)
Bb can be very sweet at times..... (Can be sweeter...hope so)

We ran out of ideas pretty soon... so does it really have to limit "nice" to monetary terms?

Nah...I doubt so...Bb is really nice to me, and I really appreciate all that she has done. She's got to be one of the nicest person around.

Through her, I've learnt how to give others the "benefit-of-the-doubt" (especially to FRIENDS like "uDON" and "iVy-d0r")it's unbelievable, yet she does that all the time. It's not that she's naive, she's not. She's just so nice, it's scary, and it puts all of us to shame... "Bb , open your eyes..or probably need to change a pair of specs... some people aint worth to be call friend."

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Valentine's Day

It's the time of the year again, when roses and meals are become exceedingly expensive. Determined not to fall into stereotypical way of thinking, I hold on fiercely to the belief that V-day is just commercially over-hyped and that it's just any other day.

Somehow this year I seem to have been sucked into the mood or probably it's because I've resigned. Which brings me to another thought: shouldn't I be worried that I do not have any job in the horizon waiting for me, and that my financial resources will eventually run out? It IS worrying...but I guess there's nothing much I can do now.Anyone out there with job lobangs?

Monday, February 13, 2006

The signs

Making up is hard to do, unless you pay special attention to your love's Sun Sign. The next time you find yourself in the dog house, consider the following tips. Pretty soon, you'll be back in your beloved's arms, rather than scratching at the
back door for scraps!

Aries Wants an Apology (and Fast!)

Don't beat around the bush with forthright
Aries. Ask for their forgiveness, admit your
wrongdoing, and promise to never commit the same
mistake again. Stick to your word, because Aries has
no tolerance for broken promises. Don't wait for a
"good time" to apologize, because the Ram will jump
right back into the dating pool. A public apology
may be in order if you've wounded this lover's ego.

Taurus Is Always Right

Taurus is the most stubborn sign in the
zodiac. If the two of you have had a fight, you need
to admit that your lover was right in the first
place. Until you do, your conversations will remain
stalled. It's also good to craft a plan that will
help you deal with future conflicts in a
constructive, healthy way. That way, you will ease
the fears of your security-conscious lover.

Make Geminis Laugh

Send a funny note of apology. Nothing breaks
down Gemini's reserve like humor. If you've made a
serious error, write a heartfelt letter asking for
your lover's forgiveness and send it overnight
express. This sign admires swift, decisive action,
and won't wait by the phone for your call. If you
really want to smooth things over with this lover,
you've got to communicate. Otherwise, Gemini will
sense you are holding something back.

Tread Carefully with Cancer

Making up with Cancer requires patience,
delicacy, and tact. The Crab's feelings are easily
bruised. Don't make light of your mistakes, and
never tease them about theirs. Telling this sign
that you can't live without their love will usually
do the trick. If Cancer still pouts after your
apology, fix a home-cooked meal and fuss over their
welfare. Make more time for this lover, and listen
attentively to their concerns.

Leos Love Flattery

Flattery will get you everywhere with Leo.
Apologize profusely for your misdeeds, and declare
that you don't deserve their love. Showering this
sign with gourmet chocolates and hothouse flowers
can also do this trick. Lions love lavish tributes.
Make a greater effort to be worthy of their love by
dressing well. When Leo sees that you're trying hard
to earn their affection, they'll let you back into
their life.

Virgos Need Consideration

Clean up your language. Virgo can't stand
swears and curses. Bone up on your etiquette.
Knowing the proper thing to do will melt the
Virgin's reserve. Be on time, and tidy up your home.
This sign w ill be far more likely to accept your
apology if you clean up your act. If you want to
make a peace offering, choose a good book. Virgo
doesn't like emotional appeals; they prefer dealing
with problems on a logical front.

Pay Attention to Libras

Express more interest in Libra's activities.
Brush up on your conversational skills. Make a point
of complimenting this sign more often. Anybody who
is born under the sign of the Scales needs constant
verbal and physical assurance. Offer a formal
written and spoken apology. Libra needs to know that
you are serious about changing your ways. Make more
of an effort to keep the romance alive in your
relationship.

Actions Satisfy Scorpio

Make a dramatic gesture to demonstrate your
devotion. As far as Scorpions are concerned, talk is
cheap. Only positive action will get you back into
their good graces. Whether this means breaking a bad
habit, getting help for a serious problem, or ending
ties that have undermined your relationship is
immaterial. The important thing is that you act to
satisfy Scorpio's concerns. Alw ays take this sign's
complaints seriously.

Soft and Fuzzy Sagittarius

Make a warm, affectionate peace offering.
Sagittarians love pets, and may not be able to
resist the lure of a cute puppy or kitten. Adopt a
more open mind. Archers don't obey any social
conventions, and won't enjoy being held to arbitrary
rules. Become friends with their pals. This sign
places greater emphasis on their social
relationships than their romantic ones. The sooner
you become one of the gang, the quicker you'll make
up.

Be Honest with Capricorn

A Capricorn can spot a lie from a mile away.
If you screwed up, admit it and formulate a plan to
do better. Empty promises will get you nowhere with
this sign. Goats place great stock in material
security. Opening a savings account will demonstrate
your willingness to forge a stable future together.
Never tease a Capricorn, especially when you're
trying to make up. This sign doesn't play around !

Let it All Hang Out with Aquarius

Invite Aquarius to discuss your problems over
coffee. The Water-bearer can't resist an free
exchange of ideas. Resist getting emotional with
this sign, or you'll remain single. Don't keep any
secrets from Aquarius, or your relationship will
continue to stagnate. If you want this sign to stick
around, you've got to keep everything out in the
open. Be more open to adventure, and take the
Water-bearer's suggestions from time to time.

Super Sensitive Pisces

Throw yourself at the mercy of this
compassionate sign. Pisces can't stand to see
anybody suffer. Be less possessive and demanding.
The Fish can't stand a romance that resembles a
prison. Accept the fact that this lover is extremely
sensitive, and needs to be handled with kid glove.
Vow to be more tender and loving. Get into the habit
of expressing your love on a daily basis, not just
special occasions.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Buddy Nites out

Meet Fen in town... catch our dinner at wisma food court... so packed, walk a few round decided to share a table. I have chicken brani Fen had black pepper beef horfun.. then shop and walk around .. Dint get anything , ya my new year resolution..control my shopping habit! GOt myself a drink at the bubble tea shop...Peach Yoghurt, how come it taste like sour prune again? sighz... its ok..good for digest...

Next, proceed to Cine for K session... just the 2 of us...K concert lor...it freezing cold , the aircon really CMI leh... next time must remember to bring along a jacket *brrrr* got chased out ard 11plus...dint it suppose to be till closing ? cheaters... but for 2 of us we get medium room not bad lah.

Cross over to NYDC for cakes....wala! warm brownie with macademia nut ice-cream.. I'm loving it.. topped with my favourite choco fudge...Yummy... while fen is busy checking her Toto tickets with the results... 10 million ... if struck top prize then...hmmm... start dreaming ... opps too fattening ...better walk awhile... took NR1 from the bus stop opposite Far East... passby our new estate...the construction is not working huh? how come its still at this level?

Thursday, February 9, 2006

A gift for Love one

Went shopping for a gift... had in mind a wallet that Bb has been talking about, then relalised that the brand that she wanted is of low quality leather... shopped Suntec, City Link Mall, Raffles City Mall, BUgis Junction...seems like the wallet that I've seen are all the same ... I really dunno what is the differnce...I tried my best to note the difference and finally found one that suits her best ... Hmmm mabbe I like the feel too..Bb is still at work when I called so I went to CANC to wait for her , dropped a few sms see who is free to meet me... K & C came and we play blackjack and daidi with the poker cards... Bb came , ordered Curry chicken with bread and fish n chips... chat chill for awhile and left, decided not to wait for the other couple... it too late..

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

chou toufu...

Bb is addicted to stinky toufu after tasting it the first time at riverside pasam malam.. went to lor 41 the next day to find the store that sells chou toufu ... we have that for dinner.. hahaha..its better than the one we had the prev day. Will try the one at bugis someday.

Thursday, February 2, 2006

CNY - Day 2

Went to 2 uncle's house... he moved from Sembangwang to the estate nearer to granny's house... very convenient for him and his wifey, both of them dun have time to cook, granny welcome them to hop by for dinner.. Uncle re-shuffles the whole house, remove the walls of both bedrooms, maves the master-room more spacious. the guest room becomes the store and laundary room... wow... old flat - new look..

Then we had lunch at the coffeeshop near his house and walked over to Granny's house... the house is pack...dun need to see, can hear the noise coming from Granny's unit...

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

CNY Day 3

Went to visit Bb's family and greet them CNY... but when I reach only Bb's at home...her parents went to the nearby market-hawker. I brought Cookie along, meimei seems excited to see this familiar buddy... both of them start the chasing game again hahahahaah~ Bb's parent's came home ... after I greet them they gave me angbao... the house went slumber mode... the folk slp ... ??? ...

In the afternoon, Bb send her Mum back and Dad to Chinatown, we head Yishun...
watch Memoirs of a Geisha with BB and sis... nice show...

CNY - Day 1

First day of CNY routine has changed ever since granny passed away.. usually we will be heading Commonwealth Drive to greet her early in the morning then to maternal-granny house. Last few years, we have to ballot whose house to gather during the death anniversary of Granny then decide the venue to gather. This year its 3rd Aunty's house.... nice and simple decor.. in whites and dark glass and metal fixtures.. too many babies in the family recently...issit the baby boom year? sighz.. I dun even know whose is whose baby... many baby equates to mamy maids... 5 room hdb flats today there are 4 maids in the kitchen... 5 mahjong tables spread out from bedrooms to dinning area... but throughout the gathering with moi's paternal relatives, I seldom talk to any of my cousins... the only one that came up to me ask if I work at the HQ of her company, she wants to find out her posting ... OMG!!! I think their eyes are stuck to their foreheads until they notice that we are of some use... hmmm... of coz its work , I just say , "oh.... I try lah... CNY dun talk about work lah lol..."

Went to maternal granny house, while Dad stays there to play mahjong... greet granny but the first thing she ask is the puppy...AH MA!!! *pengz* granny ask if we brought the puppy... everybody in the house laughed... then the little cousins gather and play aeroplane board game, some get the sweet noodle and eat while watching tv... the rest play blackjack in the room... the atmosphere is so different from paternal side..

Sunday, January 29, 2006

CNY Eve - Reunion Dinner

Reunion dinner at Granny's house.. sis brought Cookie there, all my little cousins were so excited that my aunties had hard time feeding their kids... It always steamboat and some roasted meat...the steamboat is getting bigger every year...well, its a good sign huh. an assortment of raw 'delicacies' all chopped up and ready to cook in the mix dishes of wonderfully yummy treats. ( fish balls, prawn paste balls, cuttlefish (squid), cockles , clear seaweed, fish, quil eggs, and pork meat , liver, veg, abalone..etc) . Its different from having commercialised steamboat coz at Granny's house everyone just plops down our chopsticks into the steamboat pot (after everybody is seated at the dining area) ... So pardon me if it slips my mind when I have steamboat outside... :)

My cousin's already in sec 1 already... wow, she grow so tall...about 1.7m sighz...I am the eldest and hmm the shortie? ya, my 7 yr old cousin commented: "JieJie, you are shorter than my sis...!" (blush)... youngsters nowadays are shooting higher.. envy.. Ah-ma is really happy today, seeing all her grand-children , the house is so packed.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Mobile Phones... Either..

[ Nokia N80 ]

[ O2 Atom ]

Both phones are gonna cost a bomb...



Our Anniversary: LOVE

Anniversary .. our 4th.. got an ecard from Baby... thabks, thats so sweet, maybe typed in a rush huh? some errors..

Baby is too tired to move her butts, so we have a simple steamboat dinner at home. well, she gonna have the same spread of food for reunion.. No pressie.. just eat and watch tv. finally gotta watch the 9pm show.

Quote from a blog... hmmm... its how I feel too.. how sad huh?

L.O.V.E.....
It's hard to find,
When you meet, you are blind...
Find out more when you get together,
So sweet and cheerful, you thought it's gonna last forever...
Then both of you became one,
Soon you realise there's less fun...
Less love, less sparks, less care and less everything that you feel down...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Insomnia

arghz 7am already?!!!!!Don't know what is wrong with me, can't sleep the whole night. ok, its the pre-CNY syndrome? I'm not very enthusiastic about CNY, infact I am quite sick of it... dun have the mood to shop for "New" clothings...quite lame actually, coz the retails are putting all the passe stuffs in stores, and gotta get something RED...oh no...

sick of the challenging questions that the relatives will ask every year, the same questions or maybe something new; "how old are you... where's your boyfriend?ah-xxxx(cousin) getting married leh,when are you getting married?..where are u working now?..earning how much?....blah, blah, blah...etc". Fxxx it! can I just bee myself?! I would love to bring Baby along, show them my "desired life"...any tell them Hey its been 4 years and I am happy ya know?

I am actually thinking of how to help Baby up with the reunion dinner(when? what?), havent clean up my own room yet...when should I do my manicure with all these undone? hmmm.. Its gonna be our 4th year anniversary in less than 24 hours.. saw that rainbow ring($80*) at bugis point..(managed to find the picture via search engine):
quite like it although its not the cartier trinity ring ($3K)... sobz..I'm so broke..

Monday, January 23, 2006

Chinese New Year Goodies

This year's CNY preparation is slightly different... Called up the pet groomer for appointment to groom Meiz and change the mobile plan for Baby... After that rush down to the bank to change 2-dollar notes for angbao..and then to PP to shop for goodies.

Supposed to shop for some clothings and some veg, in the end I only managed to get the gifts for my parents and for Baby's grandma. too heavy. can sharkfin and fo-tiao-qiang, 1 box of yu-sheng, Rocher, gift boxes (contains: Chinese mushroom, red-dates, white fugus, cookies, nuts ... etc.) and some tibits for Baby to bring to her workplace.

I went on a 2nd trip to the super-market again to get some frozen food, and asked the cashier about the different between the can Abalone, I got 3 cans of the more expensive one, hope it will taste better.

I couldn't get my way to the taxi stand, I stopped at Starbucks and wait for BAby to knock off from work and we had dinner at kfc. after that saw a cooker and it's ideal for a small family, Baby bought it and the reunion dinner problem is solved...brilliant!

The queue is super long at the taxi stand and we waited 30 minutes for a cab. arrived at the void deck, we have a big problem carrying the stuffs upstairs... over load... opps..