Thursday, July 6, 2006

Enjoy communication

I am enjoying the communication with my love .. sharing personal thoughts of people around her, the bed-talking with her seems never-ending , time just passes so fast and I just didn't bear to close my eyes.

I can feel your distress and dilemma from her voice when she tell me about the family issue, yet I can do nothing to help.

I read her diary without permission while she's at work, I feel really guilty after that and I confessed. I find that she is emotional when it comes to the women in her life, could remember the entries of Char, Lee and reunion with old friends.. She is really a nostalgic and sentimental person... I have good feeling that we will grow old together.

The rainy morning cuddling in bed and stroking and watching my hair makes me want to be stuck in the moment, the taste of blessedness and contentment. I have never thought that I will be so fortunate to have someone driving me to school right to the doorstep, she makes me feel so pampered.

What have I missed? fate is playing trick on me or what? Now I feel like taking a ride in paradise, still in the shock.

Lesson has been boring , the whole class is dozing off, and again am I lucky or am I ... I have her 'company by exchanging text messages, keeping me awake. thought its some kind of telepathy that I was just about to text her that I am falling asleep ... there I got your message. The strong presentiment of missing each other seems to travel miles and connect us through the distance.

Satisfiied and sextisfied

About the little argument before dinner, I think it's my first tiff session that I feel justified, at least I won't get the feel of unfinished brush and walk-aways.

I know that she worries about my proneness to vent my frustration with blades, it has been something that I do for the past few years when I feel depress. I won't promise that it will not happen again but I will try my best find other ways that will not harm my body.

The short moment of displease also make me realise how sensitive I am to words that changed my emotions. (ie. "if you do it I will leave"). I am sorry baby... I didn't mean to spoil the evening. It's not that bad after all having to know each other better and compromise the differences.

Love making has been great and fresh . Especially the first time I experienced the Big O.. realised the desirable outcome of a sextifying love. I didn't realised that for the fact that I am clueless about the Big O...

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Le new Chapter of Love

It seems like a new chapter of my life has embarked. When my mind's a cloud and when my heart rains, I want someone near me… and there she is on the other end of the line accompanying me through the lonely nights. I feel so loved and sheltered.

How silly could I be to brush aside a nice soul like you, who have always been by my side all along – might not be physically, yet enough to sooth my heart? I'd have believed that it's simply a gesture of concern to a friend in need.

If my life is like the ever changing weather, then my sky is overcast as I look ahead at last and I push behind the past. She brings in the rainbow to my world; makes the day seem sunny with talks and jokes.

My day is fresh and new whether the sky is grey or blue she's here for me.

I overcome the past soul that haunts and hurts me, she (the past) who wouldn't play the game. But in her, I feel the longing, the one whose love was true, who wanted to feel the joys in life, like the joys I find in her.

What's that thing I feel?
Is it true? Is it real?
Is my heart again with feeling?
Can it beat again and feel? I feel once more?

My heart is fixed; now it beats once more.
No more crying and sorrow. No more insecurity.
I'm happy now coz' she've given me a new definition of what love should be like.

Been 4 days in a relationship she's all I think about, probsby that what we ca;; honeymoon period, whatever it is I just feel so in love. When she hold me in your arms , I feel my heart beating again with feeling. Then kissed the lips I longed for touched me.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

love again

I have tried ... struggle to let the past drift away. with support of the people around me... I am in love again . It is not easy for me to fix the insecurity and fear, but I think it is only fair to myself that I give myself a chance. If I don't open my heart , I can never move.
*Enlightened*

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds flyBeyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

-Over the Rainbow (Arlen-Harburg)