Thursday, May 31, 2007

Vesak Day

Eve of a public holiday... I retire early, been a long day... but in the midst of a sweet dream, Dad came into the room, flung his mobile phone at me... "how come there is no vibration?..." erm... do you have some respect for your family at least knock the door right? Fix that for him, and a good deed really comes with some pleasant surprise.... a call on my phone... I'm delighted, although it's just a short and simple conversation....

Then Fen drop me a sms, ask if I want to join her for a night spin ... ok... since she's only few blocks away why not... old buddy... after fetching her bro from camp, we went to mac for supper...and continue with my zzzz...

It's vesak day, woke up early to make appointment for fortune telling session...the lady said that the next available date is Next Friday evening... ok, if not will be another week...better take the earlier then.... took bus with Fen to Bugis GuangYin Temple to pray ... over crowded...
then proceed to SimLim ... bought 2gb micro SD card and data cable...

Not only the temple is crowded, practically everywhere is ....

Bought a pair of sandals at Bugis Junction...only $13...hmmm.. good bargain. then Fen receive some phone calls, she need to get internet access her email... we walked to Pacific Coffee Company at Marina Sq, but the two men occupied the terminals for too long...she decided to go back to her office... took abus 133....long journey to AMK...*yawnz* after she alight at her workplace, I continue the bus journey to AMK Hub, oh my gosh! the crowd!! headed straight to the MRT station, forget about loitering around there, can't stand the crowd... Proceed to yishun and wait for her at the kopitiam, it's a wiser choice...at least I can have a drink and take a break from squeezing with people...

After she finish her stuffs, she came to the kopitiam and we had our dinner and walked home... wala* shower and hopped into moi bed (with my little darling - Fuffy) ...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Dad's Birthday

Sis called in the afternoon, remind me it's dad's birthday... my reaction is just erm.... mono... I asked if she''' pass by Tampines later, maybe can fetch me from work.... it's a zzz day... time passes really slow...

Yesterday met up with Arlene, we had dinner and talk about being feeling empty... I understand totally .... coz' I've experienced that for quite sometime... she's eager to get a boyfriend... what about me? I am just missing her... haven't contacted for awhile.. hope she's happier, lovelier, clearer...better...

Let's get back to Dad's birthday.... sis and mum fetch me from work , drove home get Dad and went for dinner.... weird feeling , no appetite, but still gotta eat for the sake of eating....

that all for the day....

*Talking to my bear*

Monday, May 28, 2007

Why me? I can't take it...

What would you do when your Mum called you in a mid of a meeting, tell you that your Dad had a car accident? my first reaction... shocked, talked to the boss and took e-leave... got out of the workplace and called Dad ask where is he now.... what did I get? full load of nasty words, hurtful curses and what's worse, tell me to go and die better...

Finally got my sis to answer the call, she's supposed to be at home resting her back injury... she deserve that,has been working 7 days a week with my dad, carrying the 20-kg boxes of sugarcane everyday.. Didn't want to disturb her but I really have no idea where their client's stalls are....

Took the train to the nearest station to meet up with sis, then drove to Bedok...

In long sleeves blouse and formal pants, heels ....in the 40 degree celcius weather.... Dad's lorry isn't that bad, but his temper is.... he loaded few boxes of the sugarcane into sis's car and ask me to follow him... my intention is to follow my sis to help her..(her back)...

along the way to deliver the rest of the goods left in his lorry , I'm shouted at, continued from the earlier phone call... I can't stand it... I regretted taking the e-leave ... I told him off... "Do you want everybody to quit our job to help you deliver sugarcane then you will be pleased? give all our earning to you so that you can buy more machine for your clients and sugarcane?" I really don't know what have I done wrong to deserve all this...

I cried.... he kept quiet for less than 1 min and he swing the lorry door hard....
Thanks!!

I left my bag and belonging in sis's car.. I'm left with nothing except my mobile phone...I wanted to run away, take a cab.... NO MONEY!!!! shit! breathing hard..... angry..... is this my father?????

bear with it.... he collected some money from his clients... threwthe money to me ... "count it!"
I do as orderd... unbearable... I took just enough for me to go home, then he called his friend, tell his friend how bad luck is day has been, how helpless and unhelpful me and my sis has been.... caused him to get into the accident this morning....

DUMB stuck!!! I got off the lorry when we arrived at the next destination... took a cab home...
my manager called and ask how is my dad? so kind of her, but my voice is coarse.. crying ... she thought something bad happen to my dad... I told her my dad's fine... she's puzzled... didn't explain much... I'm tired... doing so much and not appreciated...

I want to get out of this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
frustrated ... but what can I do...
dinner time is peaceful for a while until Dad comes come with a big bang! threw his waist poach at my mum... threw the record book on the floor shouting and blaming non-stop all over again.... I went into my room, he stilldon't spare me... knock at my door like loan shark! ask me if I really want him to die? why did I left just now? ****** I remain silent*** didn't know what silence will bring , but more or less expected it... he swing my door hard... the new door knob I just changed loosen again...

This will go on forever... I am sick and stressed!!!!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Choices

Embrace every moment ...
perhaps, maybe...

Have been spending time with my family, ever since I fall sick, I've been showered with love.
Especially from my sis, I'm really touched.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

caught a cold

the weather is so freaky....3 cycles of hot sun and heavy rain.... back to those days when everyone thinks that the aircon is not working but I feel as if I'm in north pole... on the other hand, I feel a layer of heat on my skin... ok that's making me very sick... don't know I'm hot or cold...

cocooned in my blanket now... phlegm clocking my throat, tonsil is really sore...

need some pampering...

Monday, May 21, 2007

brave and/or coward

I missed her a lot yet won't let it out too much..
afraid that will make the situation awkward... and push her further away...

When she say 'hi' like a friend it feels bitter & sweet at the same time...

I feel like telling her that I still love her but everything just choked, imagine a mirror image of me telling me that she is still around as a friend don't freak her off....

is this brave or is this coward?

Distance really makes the heart fonder...

New Job: Day 1

Couldn't get to sleep, no matter how I tried to tell myself that it's gonna be a long day... must rest... someone, somewhere can help ...... a soothing voice *zzz* good night!

Woke up before the alarm buzz... it's the dogs... barking for attention for don't know what reason. 5.30am? Took a shower to freshen up and had a cup of milo. Plenty of time to dress up, walked to the bus-stop, the walk seems longer than usual... especially when most of the time is spent avoiding my heels from getting caught between the drain covers...

waited a while before the bus arrived, a super long bus, still full load, butts on the 1st seat that caught my eye... long bus journey... most of them are already so used to it, they took a nap and wake up just in time to alight at the interchange *thumbs up*... novice passenger like me just stay awake and nervous.... by the time I reach the destination, I'm already feeling the zzz-monster come near... *oops*

Was shown around and introduced to the staffs during the morning briefing... given my access card.... brought to seat infront of the computer beside the manager to read up the employee's handbook.... stroll and click and read and ..... hey how come everything seems so blur?? that's the morning... more code of conduct and etc to read after lunch ... ermm...

Attached to a the enquiry counter staff... stood beside her for 6 hours doing nothing just need to observe... not allow to do anything as well... no space for another chair .... ouch! my toes feels squashed and moulded into the pointy shape of my shoes... calf muscles hardens... *ouch!*

While everybody do their closing duties, I'm still there waiting for time to pass... I can't feel any other part of my body except my feet...

Time to go home... walked to the interchange, saw a super duper long queue... gosh! it's the bus I'm gonna take... *sighz* yea, got on the bus and stand all the way till I reach Yishun ... *sob*

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Happy Moments

This week has never been better....
Watch Dvd at home... "click" very touching... and yea, of course I cried...*sighz*
That's me... But still I Am Happy ! Very..... *grinz*

Friday, May 18, 2007

Just be yourself

This is just what I observed from my experience recently. I just can't agree to people that refused to accept who they are... if you are not accepting who you are, then it's gonna be hard for others too. Sometimes it's too "over" if you try too hard to be someone you are not. Liking something that you are not familiar with. One very common example would be those that refuse to admit that they are typical Singaporean, think that asian food taste horrible, insisted on speaking english when the rest of the peers interacts in mandarin. There is certain thing that we gotta be aware of sometimes, not to neglect the people around when socialising... over engross in being someone you thing is more poise... ought to measure your own weakness at times. Ego kills.... especially you are not strong with what you are trying to achieve.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Car Wash

Weather is really freaky these few days, rain for a while and suddenly it's scorching hot and what's worse? it's so humid, air is so still.... sighz* with this kind of weather the best thing to do is stay home.

Join my sis for a car wash at the carpark area, after dinner. what an experience, it took us about 3 hours to clean up the car thoroughly - vacuum, clean the seats, dashboard, wash and dry the exterior, wax, coating the windows, polish up the windows and mirrors... *phews* it's a lot of work, but after that it's such an achievement and satisfaction. *yeah*

Got myself a new door knob for my room door too... the old one is creating too much noise. Sis is the "handy man" at home, she changed it for me... wala* done!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hug is the best therapy

Long waiting time but its really worth a thousand words... A warm hug will cure everything, when your head feels like exploding, lean it on a shoulder, it works better than aspirin. Thank god I've got the best doc t.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Silly mistakes that cost a lot more

started with a perfect day of the week.... filled with heart warming love, hugs and lots of laughter... and the most exciting part is to cook something nice for someone you love. but the happy didn't last very long... i'm extremely stupid to say something totally out of my mind. and she just left disappointed , insulted and angry.

Night time is hard to bear, especially when I can almost feel a new life...so near , but I just shattered it by my own words.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

What is best for you might not suit others

What would you do when you are feeling lonely? Pretend to be strong, happy occupied with 101 activities, be afraid, sleep, talk to a toy, talk to someone until you feel like over doing, workout until you are drop dead, alcohol over boost, cry, catch a movie, blast some loud music, drive out and enjoy being alone or browse your phone contacts and send mass invites to friends? Ultimately you just need a shoulder to lean on, someone to give you a warm hug. Not everything in life is as you wish.... *babbling, doodling, yakking*

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Make a difference

Went for the 2nd interview in the morning... was caught in the morning jam along TPE. The manager seems nice, after a long chat with her, she told me that the HR will communicate with me soon...*praying hard*

took the express bus home, was drizzling, the sun is still scotching hot... the weather is as confused as I am.... walked in the rain, hoping that it will pour heavier, missed walking in the rain.

Spent the entire day at home, lunching with Mum and surfing the tv channels.. sighs... it has been reset to the subscribed channels, not very much choices... bored....keeping the mobile phone by my side just in case...

Night falls and its terrible ... Dad came home storming into my room, hit my door like a monster... shout and screamed at me for not saving his phone contacts into the SIM card... how would I know he is selling that phone away? it seems like he only bought it 3 days ago. And he didn't point the finger at himself that he ought to check before selling the phone. AM I TO BLAME? I do what I was instructed to. Sis and Mum got it too for nothing ... can there be peace? even in my own room I can't escape all these crap.

Was reading this article forwarded from a friend about this person whom died of overworking and stress... (http://digital.asiaone.com.sg/news/20070501_001.html) got worried for my Dad, but why did he vent all his anger and frustrations at home, every little things...

commotion is still going on in the living room.... will be a big mess to clear later

I wanted to call someone to talk about it and something just stopped me...just remembered that she is not obligated to these ding dong .... I need to breathe
________________________________________

DW called ask if wanna meet for supper... he drove his dad's lorry and meet me at the coffee shop... chat about many things about school days and people in general... talk about dreams and relationships... received a few SMSes ...and a pleasant call it's "hi..."

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Movie: Spiderman 3

Catch spiderman 3 with DW and his friend... adding on a new frenzy, nice gal to chat with ...bought a big bag of popcorn and we hardly finish half of it...the show is more than 2 hours long, lucky the seat is not too bad, otherwise would have a bad buttock ache!

Not that fantastic, probabbly its not the genre that I fancy... maybe I'm a weirdo who prefer emo-romantic movie... hmmmm...

proceed to NYDC for a drink and some bites... overlooking spinelle, the place that brings back some nice memories... is that the "connection" or what? just as memories flows in, my phone rang... it's her "hi..." , I can taste sweetness in the spicy pizza in my mouth...*smiles*, and 2 pairs of eyes dart at me and rolled their eye-balls away hopelessly... *pouts*.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Sleeping buddy from HK


Baby is back from her hk vacation yesterday, bought me a pressie...
a new buddy. Naming this little one?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Mobile phone gone...

My nokia 6260 give way last night... Just have a big miscommunication coz of the phone and it cost $70 to repair... just over and it's giving me other problems... I think it really wants to go. Trade the phone and bought a Nokia 6300 without line in all it cost me a painful $220. Sighs, what can I say? It just can't wait any longer.

p.s: to those flying to HK soon.... Bon voyage! happy holidays....